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myperfectlife posted 8/1/2013 20:44 PM

First day back at work after the summer off. Walked in to my office and saw the Valentine's day flowers my STBXWH sent me this year.
Into the trash they went. Also took his photo out of one of the frames and replaced it with one of the boys.
Trying hard to do NC because he's still talking to OW, but I texted him and told him how much he'd hurt me and that he was a cruel man.
He is remorseful, I get that-and he wanted to R. Or at least half-ass wanted to, then broke NC when I said I was going to file for D.
I am just sick of him always turning the conversation back to him. "I destroyed my life too."
Yeah, I don't really care about that right now, honestly.
Every time he says that it shows me I made the right decision in filing for D.

Anyway, he came over to get DS guitar for the weekend and mentioned talking for a few minutes. I told him if he's still talking to OW we have nothing to talk about and gently shut the door on him.

Sorry, venting. Just frustrated.

[This message edited by myperfectlife at 8:44 PM, August 1st (Thursday)]

ButterflyGirl posted 8/1/2013 21:10 PM

I told him if he's still talking to OW we have nothing to talk about and gently shut the door on him.

Exactly what you should say..


MovingUpward posted 8/1/2013 23:10 PM


shatteredheart7 posted 8/1/2013 23:14 PM


Scubachick posted 8/2/2013 02:06 AM

You handled it perfectly!!

gonnabe2016 posted 8/2/2013 02:12 AM

He's not remorseful if he's continuing contact with his OW.

Carry on with the NC....

sinsof thefather posted 8/2/2013 03:08 AM


myperfectlife posted 8/5/2013 17:01 PM

I've tried to be as NC as possible considering the 3 boys are ready to start school/sports/etc.
Today he texted me a few things and I finally asked him to stop because it was making me panicky. He apologized and said he would stop.
Then he came to drop off some sports equipment and talked to me for a few minutes.
He said he just wanted to tell me where he was...he's going to totally break off all contact, friendship etc with OW. He's actively working on himself, he's going to schedule more IC.
He misses me, loves me, wants me, doesn't want to lose me.
The anguish was evident and he seemed like he was about to have a break down. He was crying, borderline sobbing.
I just tried to nod a few times. I told him I didn't know what to say, and that I do still love him, and that was really all I could give him when he asked for a sliver of hope.
I know, NC=no new hurts. It's only been a week since I filed. I know he has put some changes into action but it's a long road to convincing me that he is who I should be with for the rest of my life, given what he has put me through.
I am still trying to concentrate on myself. I bought a crockpot today and went grocery shopping and am trying to cook more for the boys, which is a big deal.
I am still getting used to my ADs and started back at work, and it's about to get real busy with the boy's school and my college courses.
I am a little stressed about all of that. And I don't need to worry about him and what/how he's doing right now.
Anyway, that's my update for now.
It seems today that me filing for D may have truly hit him.

meplusfour posted 8/5/2013 23:24 PM

Stay strong. Sending you strength.

Ostrich80 posted 8/6/2013 02:15 AM

I admire you..handled perfectly.

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