I need support tonight. Things have been good and bad over the past few weeks. I was reading on here about timelines, and asked my WS for one. He emailed it to me tonight.
I feel in shock. I read through half of it, and had to stop. Then finished it. Learned a lot of new stuff that I hadn't known previously. Then I went back through my email and found my own timeline that I had emailed him right after Dday. I put the two timelines together, and ran to the bathroom and got sick. When I compare the days that he was with her versus what I was doing and thinking on those days, it just... I can't even put it in words.
I feel hurt. Shocked. Sad. Angry. Sick. My chest hurts. I can't stop crying.
My instant response was to turn off my phone, because I can't talk to him right now.
I've been reading Not Just Friends, and read part of the chapter today that says you can't use new information as a weapon. And right before he sent the timeline, I promised him that I wouldn't do that.
I don't know how to talk to him though without getting angry.
I know that timelines have to be hard for the WS too. It has to be hard to admit all that stuff, and see it all on paper.
I want to thank him for being honest with me, and doing that for me. But I also want to yell and cry because of what I read.
I don't know what to say to him.
How did the BS and WS on SI deal with timelines? Any advice?
It helps to put the puzzle pieces together in my head, and I'm grateful to him for that. But it also just really hurts to see it all on paper.