Dear Miracle Whip,
Thank you for your most recent advertisement in which you use the Scarlet A as a cheeky way to sell your product. In addition to the fact that you suck, and you're not mayonnaise, you've given me just one more overly sweet, obnoxiously tangy reason to hate you...not that I needed one (again,you're not mayo, stop trying to deny the fact that you made a crappy mayo then tried to back track saying it was never mayo, but a "sandwich spread").
You are now in the company of Orbit gum, State Farm Insurance, Sugarland and the Sham Wow guy (not because he has to stoop so low as to use adultery to sell something, he's just friggin creepy). Please know that even if I was able to choke down your wanna be mayo, I wouldn't buy it solely based on the fact that you thought that using infidelity related topics as a kitchy selling point was a good idea.
Real Mayonnaise lover
*no offense to anyone who likes the taste of MW... well, maybe a little, cause c'mon people, it's NOT MAYO .