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I got a early phone call from my husband this morning. He admitted to buying the condoms. He said he didn't know why he bought them. He said he masterbated with the missing condom. He's very remorseful. Kept apologizing.

I don't know if I believe him. A person wouldn't just go out and buy condoms unless they had intentions in using them. I can't believe that he didn't have the balls to tell me to my face. He said he swears on our children lives . I don't know why..but I still don't believe him.

That "swearing on the children"..we've all heard that one - my H swore on his beloved father's grave (more than one time) and on his chilren's lives.

You guessed it - he was lying. They can be so convincing.

That condom story - its an old one too - years ago my girlfriend told me her H told her the same thing - he was using them to masturbate. Really? All of sudden you're so worried about cleanliness? Men don't like using condoms - why would he choose to use one for that?

I'm glad you're smart enough to trust your gut and know that he's lying. In my early days someone here said to me: If it doesn't make sense thats because its not true.

This story doesn't make any sense..right?

My WH swore on our children's lives about various things too. It was crap. It gives me a rash just thinking about it.

A condom to masterbate...was he going to get himself pregnant or give himself an STD???
Its hard, trust me I've tried to buy into a lot of full on crap...just dont do it. You know what is true or false and his story makes NO sense.
Sorry hunny. Take care of yourself, read the healing library and start looking for information on why those condoms were actually bought.

(((Nestlee)))

I'm sorry. As livingalie says, men dont like to use condoms and he certainly isnt using it to masturbate.

I wouldnt believe him either.

You dont have any other proof something is going on?

I'm sorry you find yourself in this place.

Oh lordy...he doesn't know why he bought the condoms? Would he have you believe he was in line at 7-11 waiting to pay a gallon of milk when he suddenly - and randomly - decided to buy a box of condoms out of the blue? Ugh.

Then, after being compelled by invisible demons to buy condoms out of the blue, those same troublemaking demons convinced him to use one of those rubbers while he masturbated? That seems pretty counter-productive because we all know condoms dull sensation, so that doesn't really make sense.

Pfft. You're not crazy at ALL for not believing his "swearing" on his own children's lives - I don't think there's a cheater that HASN'T done that. My ex and I didn't have kids together, so HE swore on his saintly Mother's life (who was having difficulty with yet another cancer diagnosis).

Sweet, ain't he?

Nestlee, you don't believe him because you know his story is ridiculous and it doesn't make sense. Judge Judy always says, "If it doesn't make sense, then it's NOT the truth."

Good luck to you.

I don't know why..but I still don't believe him.

That is because it is pure 100% bullshit.

Tell him that if he is sorry then he needs to show you the last calendar years worth of paychecks and bank statements.

Lets see how sorry and remorseful he is.

I think he wants it to go away. He thinks that you will buy it if he 'swears' in such a dramatic fashion. Don't.

He has a laptop that he only uses at work.

He hides a cellphone(if he still has one- which I would BET many, many dollars that he does).

He hides pay stubs and bank statements.

That is a lot of secrets. You don't know if he is taking days off, extra money out of the account etc...

Do you have any access to the account? Is it a joint account. If it is you can have the bank reprint statements for you.

As for the phone, look for a charger. Phone plugs in the garage or in his car.

Check his mileage. Is he traveling many more or less miles than he needs to in order to go to work.

Get your 50 posts in and get down to the I.Tips forum. Much good advice on sleuthing out the truth can be had there.

IMO your gut is telling you the truth. Listen. Keep looking. Keep posting.

Don't believe swearing on children's lives.

My wife swore on her son's life, on anything she could. I had all the proof I was needed and was trying to see if she would voluntarily give up information without me having to confront her.

She swore numerous times on her son's life, her life, everything that there was no inappropriate contact with anyone.

She was lying.

Using a condom to masturbate? I guess he doesn't know where that right-hand has been.

That would be even more scary so tell him you're going to file for D as he obviously can't keep track of his right hand, so I'd anticipate that also applies to his penis.

Thanks for all the great replys. @ (neveragain2013) lol.no kidding, he said, he was at 7/11 and while purchasing gas..he saw the condoms on the shelf and just decided to grab them. Ugh, I need him to tell me the honest truth..even though..he's swearing up and down he is. I want to see all his viza statements but he won't show me. He's so secretive it's crazy.

*****Using a condom to masturbate? I guess he doesn't know where that right-hand has been.
That would be even more scary so tell him you're going to file for D as he obviously can't keep track of his right hand, so I'd anticipate that also applies to his penis. *****

I love this response!

I can't believe your WH would make up such a lie! He is insulting you and your common sense to think that you would believe such a ridiculous lie about masturbating with a condom on..

[This message edited by doggiediva at 5:29 PM, August 2nd (Friday)]

Why did he confess purchasing condoms? Was he afraid you would see the bill?

Thanks for all the replys. Yes he thinks I'm a fool. I tried to talk to him about it again. He said nothing more to talk about. He all ready told me the truth..ya right. He booked a hotel . we are leaving on Monday for 4 days. All of a sudden, he wants to be this family man.

Dreanna, I found 2 condoms hidden in a little compartment in his car. When I asked him why he had condoms. His first lame excuse was that he found them at work. It took months and months to get him to confess that he bought them. But, he won't man up and tell me the rest of the story.

I've actually been looking for condoms myself... or condom purchases. My H and I struggle to pay bills as it is, and we found out after I had a baby in 2011... condoms are expensive! I haven't found any condoms, or anything that looks like he bought some, but that just makes me concerned that he isn't using any. I'll tell you like everyone told me in my first few days on here - get STD testing. Just because he bought condoms doesn't mean he's having safe sex. Sorry.

That's not remorse. he is still lying and covering his ass.

Remorse is all about you..helping you heal..digging deep within himself to figure out why he cheated..oh..and admitting he cheated.

Men don't like condoms. Masturbating with one? No. If this were true..why hide them? Why did it take so long to "confess?"

He's lying.

Tell him to take a poly.

Ok, I asked my FWH, who is sitting next to me, if he thought that it was reasonable for any guy to use a condom to masturbate with. He said no, however he also added that he had actually one time used a condom that was in the house for masturbation, because he had torn up his hands on a project and while healing, they were very rough and scabby. He added that he would not have bothered to go out of the house to buy one it just happened that he had a couple of them in his dresser drawer (he was single).

Please do get an STD/HIV test no matter what he says. Liars lie, and he's a liar. As to safe sex, my biology-degreed FWH swore that he had had "Safe Sex" because he used a condom. This was in MC. I told him that no, he didn't. He went down on her, she went down on him, they kissed before and after, and neither of them used a shield during the oral part of the day. So no, they did NOT have safe sex. The MC agreed with me.

Don't be too hard on yourself. We believe the outlandish stories and justifications offered because we want to believe our WS didn't betray us.
Believe in yourself. Believe in your gut instinct.

I've heard the condom justification story as well. Swearing on children's life, etc. All the crazy justifications. I've cried, thrown up, and played every scenario in my head.
Bottom line, you matter and the half ass confessions are unacceptable.
Believe in your self and listening to half wit explanation further tears down your own self esteem.
You Matter
You Deserve much more
Believe it!

Your WH has more secrets than the CIA...

You need to go silent and play detective...

Funny thing is... He's not even a good liar...

WB

When I asked him why he had condoms. His first lame excuse was that he found them at work.

I know I'm not a man, but if I found something like a condom just laying around, it would go right into the trash. You have no idea what that thing might have been through! Even if the wrapper looks intact, still seems a bit like chewing that wad of gum you just found lying on the street corner. NASTY!