Any great Netflix movie suggestions?
How bout volunteering somewhere, meeting new people?
A church group that has activities? Bible studies or social activities?
Is a second job something you would consider? Again, more for meeting other people and at least getting out of the house.
hang in there, hugs
I'm thinking about getting back into some activities I used to enjoy. But I'm curious to see what everyone else has to say.
when no one has expressed any interest in being with you
When money is tight, I'll make myself head out to the library or bookstore. I like looking at glossy magazines to generate ideas for my bucket list; dreaming about hobbies and destinations doesn't cost anything.
Speaking of ideas:
A aerobics, archery
B bicycling, bowling, badminton, basketball, baseball, boxing, board sport
C cooking classes, canoing cheerleading, cross training
D dancing, dog walking, diving, darts
E exercise, equestrianism
F fishing, football
G gardening, golf, gymnastics, grappling
H horseback riding, handball, hockey
I ice skating
J jumping rope, jogging, jai alai
K kayaking, karate, kickboxing, kiting
L lifting weights, log splitting
M meditation, martial arts
P pilates, paint ball, parachuting
Q quad biking
R rock climbing, running, rowing, rugby
S sex, swimming, shooting, skiing, scuba diving, softball, surfing,
T tennis, table tennis, trampolining
V vigorous sex, volleyball, video games (Wii sports, etc.)
W walking, weight training, wrestling, water skiing
Y yoga, yachting
Any great Netflix movie suggestions?
Not a movie, but check out Doctor Who, starting with the 2005 season.
A big part of getting past the loneliness is making friends. The suggestions in this thread are a great starting point for doing that.
You can distract yourself all you like with outings and activities, but if you haven't learned the art of sitting still and just *being* with yourself, that's something you might want to work on.
Meditation and yoga really helped me get centred in that regard.
Big hugs. This isn't easy, but it's hugely rewarding.
I joined an online Disney forums board since I love Disney. I met some amazing people who really helped me through that time. Still friends to this day.
I also started to train for a marathon, I had GBP, and joined a runners club, when I couldn't even walk fast(347lbs) They were great, I was there project. 18 months later did my first Goofy in WDW.
There are groups and people with open arms but you gotta find them. They are there waiting for you to reach out.
Sometimes it is worse than others.
I think the key to being happily alone is to have solitary hobbies and interests.
I have been separated now for almost 3 months, so I know that I'm still 'new' in this and have quite a bit of healing to do.
I have been reading a ton of books, some of which were suggested in the Healing Library here.
I have also been getting out and doing things - like taking my dog to the dog park and I taking dancing lessons.
But Saturday nights are just the worst for me. I guess it's because I know my X is out dating.
I'm not at a place where I can even begin to think about any kind of relationship, but it sure would be nice just to have someone to do something with once in a while.
Oh well.... And so it goes.....
Thanks so much, everyone. I really appreciate all the thoughtful suggestions and tips.
It helps ease the loneliness.
I try to keep very busy, and I work a lot- at least my career isn't suffering from this mess!
For the immediate time, I'd suggest pamper-myself nights. Book yourself a home made spa : get your nails and legs done, get a scrub and a mask, pehaps a hair mask too, fill the tub several times if you need to. Give yourself the attention you deserve.
I posted a lot on SI to kill my loneliness in the first year. It helped me to help others (and have laughs too once in a while!)
For the mid-longer term, I'd say approach friendship a bit like courting. Find yourself groups of people who practice an activity you love. Even if you don't have a dating goal, singles of both sexes have a good chances to have more free saturday nights for friendly outings than couples ans families. Don't refuse invitations.
Now this is the part you can skip if you are an extrovert : When discovering you enjoy someones's company, make the first steps and invite them to do something another time. Tell new aquaintances you enjoyed spending time in their company, that you find them interesting. Most people seek connexion and love/need to hear that.
In time you will learn to enjoy your alone time as you will adapt to your new life. Give yourself some time.
[This message edited by burnt_toast at 6:02 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)]
Also, check in F&G to see if there is an SI g2g coming to a place near you--they are wonderful and you'll make lots of new friends
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
I now have friends for any occasions....dancing, getting lunch, traveling, movies, shopping, etc....
Get out there and meet new people. Join new activities....you may not like the activity but you may meet someone neat and interesting!
I have an amazing ability to entertain myself!
Me too! Friends find this unusual or "weird." Normal for me.
All the suggestions folks here have already made are fantastic, and it can only help more IMO to continue counseling, because getting through all of this *is* really hard.
And I got a puppy. And that led to more posts here about what a huge mistake I'd made and how the puppy was actually making me feel even more isolated from other people. Thankfully, we got through all that, and now I love hanging with him in the evening and watching TV after our last walk through the neighborhood.
Not sure I offered any help, but I wanted to commiserate with how hard it is to just live through lonely times.
I started out by adopting a dog since my dog had cancer and had to be put down 4 weeks before XWH left. It took some time for me and the pup to get to know each other. ;-)
I am not real outgoing so, I started going to church but that made me feel even lonelier going by myself. From the church I joined a couple of growth groups which was good for me to get out and meet new people.
Months later I joined a few meetup groups and attended some activities which I really enjoyed.
I spent time on SI posting when I needed or felt like I could provide support. I'm glad we have our friends on SI to help us navigate our new lives. Hugs
Truth is like surgery, it hurts but heals. A Lie is like a painkiller. It gives instant relief but has side effects forever.