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Nicnac posted 8/2/2013 19:31 PM

So, the OW says her husband caught on to and confronted her about the affair on the 19th, so why do the phone records show texting between her and my H on the 20th and 21st? She said the last she heard from him was on the 21st when her husband tried to friend request me to tell me everything. I didn't know the person and don't accept requests from people I don't actually know, especially men, so I asked my H if he knew who this person was. of course he said no, but promptly texted his AP to ask why her H was friend requesting me. She said she never responded.

Mousse242 posted 8/2/2013 19:34 PM

You're really going to believe the OW???

Wonderingwhy11 posted 8/2/2013 20:09 PM

Unfortunately even when caught they will still try to lie. My guess is the texting the days after OBS found out is because WS and OW were making sure their stories were in synch. Of course your WS is going to tell you he doesn't know who is friend requesting you. He doesn't want you to talk to the OBS.

The likely truth is OBS found out on the 19th and they continued to text and on the 21st OW found her BH tried to contact you. Now they are scrambling because they don't want you talking to OBS.

whatjusthappened posted 8/2/2013 21:16 PM

OWH found out about 2 days before he told me everything, and in those two days OW started applying the pressure with my H. I suspect she knew OWH was going to tell me and she was hoping to have my H ready to come running to her. Also, in the hours after OWH told me, they spoke and texted more than they had in the previous two days because my H was trying to find out what I knew, what OW told her H, and was trying to manage the situation.

All this to say, it's not out of the realm of possibility that there was communication after her H found out.

simplydevastated posted 8/2/2013 21:22 PM

My guess is the texting the days after OBS found out is because WS and OW were making sure their stories were in synch.

^^^^This, in a nutshell.

WhiteCarrera posted 8/3/2013 01:43 AM

Damage Control!

Ostrich80 posted 8/3/2013 04:53 AM

Yes, getting stories straight. I confronted one and by the time I got to the next, they had matching stories. Ow lied to me, this one will lie to you. Your not in her best interest, she's concerned with herself and your husband period.

Wonderingwhy11 posted 8/3/2013 18:32 PM

Nicnac - Have your read Not Just Friends? It explains why WS and AP keep in contact - basically it is the lies that keep them in contact. The lies to keep the stories straight are what they share together and the truth they don't want to share with BS.

When I did finally contact the OW to ask questions it was amazing how she said some of the same things and same terminology. Couldn't remember dates and other details just like my WH.

Ashland13 posted 8/3/2013 20:05 PM

OW would not have any reason to tell the truth here and would likely be looking out for herself. WS at some points seem to be the same, for the ones I've known of continued to lie for a time, prior to giving up.

We, the BS, often become the enemy, because we question and poke holes in the reality of the bubble created by an A.

Just because people are found out, doesn't mean it will end.

I'm really sorry, Nicnac.

hurtbs posted 8/3/2013 20:16 PM

Very few affairs end immediately upon discovery.

Scubachick posted 8/5/2013 01:41 AM

My husband called the OW and asked her to cover for him and lie to me so he could save his marriage. He had her tell me it was twice when it was really 4 times. She did exactly what he wanted and then he even did a false apology to us both right after that at the same time. I don't know how either one of them sat there with a atraight face. Be careful believing anything either one of them says.

PolyGal posted 8/5/2013 04:33 AM

I had a similar experience after I confronted with my suspicions but before I confirmed them. Basically I asked directly if what I thought might be going on was going on. Then they put a lot of effort into getting their stories straight. Then he left his IM open while out on an errand, and that is how I confirmed.

I agree, they are likely synching their stories and attempting damage control.

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