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LostandGuilty (original poster member #30493) posted at 6:06 AM on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013
I am laying in bed listening to my dog snore a little. Tonight is my last night ever sleeping next to him. I have to put him to sleep in the morning. For the past month, he has been suffering from anemia. The vets do not know what is causing it, but it has cost $1,200 to keep him alive this past month. He has had two blood transfusions and requires seven pills a day. The steroids that he has been given have made him diabetic. He now receives two insulin shots a day. None of it has worked, as he is still not producing his own red blood cells. His body is giving out on him.
Two weeks after I found out about the A, I moved out. My XWW showed no regret and never looked back. I had no bedroom furniture for the first three months, so me and my Jack Russell slept on my only couch every night. Him on top of me.
When I would come home from work, he would be there to greet me everyday. When I would sit up at night crying because I missed my wife and my kids, he would lick me. He was worried about me. He let me lean on him, cry, and complain. He listened to every word.
I am going to miss him. My kids are going to miss him. He is such an amazing family member. I feel guilty, but I can not do any more for him.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on" - Robert Frost
BH (36)
DS (16)
DD (14)
heartbroken_kk ( member #22722) posted at 6:13 AM on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013
(((((LostandGuilty)))))
(((((BestFriend)))))
it is one of the greatest kindnesses you can do for your friend, to let him go gently.
Peace to you both
FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.
icantakeit ( new member #40096) posted at 6:38 AM on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013
Lostandguilty,
Do not feel guilty, you have done all you can.
I just went through the same thing July 15th. She was my comfort, always knew when I was feeling down. She would nuzzle me try cheer me. She was the only one I talked with about my WH. It is soooo hard without her, but it had to be done. Remember the happy times and know you are doing what is best for him.. Ever heard of Rainbow Bridge?? check it out it is comforting...Remember he knows how much you love him and will wait until you meet again!! It is so hard to lose a special companion. Condolences to you and your children.
[This message edited by icantakeit at 12:42 AM, August 3rd (Saturday)]
authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 2:45 PM on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013
That is one of the toughest and most selfless things we can do as pet owners.
I'm sorry for the loss of your beloved friend.
DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.
lieshurt ( member #14003) posted at 4:19 PM on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013
I'm very sorry. I know how difficult it can be, but this is truly a loving thing you are doing for your best friend.
((((hugs))))
No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.
million pieces ( member #27539) posted at 4:54 PM on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013
I've just gone through this twice in the past 4 months. First time I waited until it was too late and I felt so bad. The next time I almost feel like I did it too early because I was just sooooo afraid of her suffering when I wasn't around like her sister did. They were both at least 15yrs a HUGE part of my life. Like yours, they helped me through all the craziness and gave me a reason to function when my kids were not with me. They kept me going. Now I come home for the first time in 15 yrs to a empty house. Actually, the first time ever.
Dog Heaven was a wonderfully sweet book that I read w both of my kids. And I still cry.
Me - 52 D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later, Divorced 11/15/11!!!!
SoVerySadNow ( member #36711) posted at 5:04 PM on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013
Oh this is heartbreaking. Hug your friend close.
I'm sorry.
Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.
movingforward777 ( member #6850) posted at 5:12 PM on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013
I am so sorry that you have to go through this...but as others have said part of being a good pet owner is knowing when it is time to let them go peacefully and not suffer any more.....
Maybe in time you will be ready to have another dog....in the meantime remember all the good times and do what is right for your dog....he's crossing the "rainbow bridge" to run and play with other dogs, free of pain and suffering.....HUGS 
You can't reach for anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday's junk.......Louise Smith
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 5:59 PM on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013
(((Lost & Doggie)))
I am so sorry.
Mommato4 ( member #15906) posted at 6:12 PM on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013
((((Lost))))
I'm so sorry for the loss of your fur baby. I had a Jack too. They are wonderful dogs.
I went through something similar with mine last year and we couldn't pinpoint what it was for 8 months. When we finally figured it out, I learned it was a fatal disease. I had to make the hard decision. He was just shy of 6 years old and he was the dog I went through the divorce mess with. I understand that pain.
I had him cremated and he sits on my mantle with his ceramic paw print of that day so he's here with me always.
[This message edited by Mommato4 at 12:13 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)]
BS-me 34
XH-doesn't matter
4 kids
Divorced-7/25/2008
ZenMumWalking ( member #25341) posted at 6:14 PM on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013
I'm so sorry for you and your furbaby
((((Lost & kids & Best Friend))))
Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now
Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 6:16 PM on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013
I'm so sorry. ((Lost and pup))
You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright
jrc1963 ( member #26531) posted at 6:36 PM on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013
I am so sorry for the loss of your best buddy...
Please take comfort in the fact that you did everything you could for him and are doing what is best for him now.
(((Lost)))
Me: BSO - 56 Him: FWSO - 79 DS - 23 D-Day - 12-11-09, R - he finally came homeYour life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"
persevere ( member #31468) posted at 9:08 PM on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013
I'm so sorry LandG 
But you've done all you can do, and not letting your best friend suffer is the right choice. ((LandG))
DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.
purplejacket4 ( member #34262) posted at 9:24 PM on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013
Me: BS 50
Her: FWS 53 (both family med MDs; together 23 years)
OW: who cares (PhD)
Dday: 10/11: 11/11 TT for months; NC 8/12
Limboconsiliationish
"band aids don't fix bullet holes" Taylor Swift
I NEVER mind medical ???
knightsbff ( member #36853) posted at 10:13 PM on Saturday, August 3rd, 2013
I'm so sorry LandG.
Prayers and hugs.
fWW 40s, BH 40s
D-day 27 Aug 2012. Kids 25, 17, 13. 2 dogs.
I edit often to fix stuff ☺️
Profoundly grateful Every. Single. Day. that I am blessed with an H with strength, integrity, and compassion, and that he decided to try.
Want2help ( member #20547) posted at 12:04 AM on Sunday, August 4th, 2013
(((((LostandGuilty)))))
(((((BestFriend)))))
I am so, so sorry.
FBS/WS- me.
F(serial)WS/BS- him.
Madhatters. More Ddays than birthdays, at this point. His OC, my OC...
UPDATE: Divorcing after almost 20 years.
notmeanymore ( member #9772) posted at 2:19 AM on Sunday, August 4th, 2013
((Lost & His Best Friend))
You shouldn't feel guilty, but I know it's easier said than done.
"Put the cuckoo back in the clock baby" - Four Brothers
Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 1:04 PM on Sunday, August 4th, 2013
What you are doing is an act of love, and he knows that you love him. (((((LostandGuilty)))))
You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
sullymeishadomi ( member #16305) posted at 1:20 AM on Monday, August 5th, 2013
((Lost)). Youre truly blessed to have such a good friend. ((Doggie))
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