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musiclovingmom posted 8/3/2013 23:03 PM

My H has actually had a few days off and has offered to watch the kids for a little while so I can go do something alone. We have 3 young kids (g-5yrs, b-22mos, b-4mos). I really REALLY need a break. I never envisioned myself as a SAHM and most days wonder if I'm doing more harm than good to my children. The problem is, I've become so entrenched in this 'you must enjoy every minute with your child' mentality that leaving to do something just for me - even if it's only and hour or two - makes me feel so guilty that I can't come up with anything I think I would enjoy. Any ideas?

[This message edited by musiclovingmom at 11:04 PM, August 3rd (Saturday)]

Nature_Girl posted 8/3/2013 23:23 PM

Wander through a museum alone. Take your time on the exhibits. Go into the gift shop afterwards & get something for yourself. Has to be for yourself, has to be a present for YOU.

Sad in AZ posted 8/3/2013 23:53 PM

Do something that you would never think of taking a child to do--a day spa; a meal at a fancy restaurant; a movie you've been wanting to see--anything that would be made uncomfortable with kids along.

Want2help posted 8/4/2013 02:05 AM

I agree with the museum, or even a wine bar or something that the kids wouldn't enjoy, and you could never enjoy with the kids.

Then, all guilt is alleviated.

I do sympathize. Our wedding 5 year wedding anniversary is coming up. Our daughter is 4, and she has celebrated every wedding anniversary with us. We want to go to the coast for a night, but it's her favorite place in the world, so we feel too guilty going without her.

Amazonia posted 8/4/2013 06:55 AM

To shopping! Or to a spa! Or sit in a book store with a big cup of coffee and lose yourself in a book that is way over your kids' reading level. Or call some girlfriends and get together to gossip about things that have nothing to do with children. Or go hiking. Or go sit in a fancy restaurant and order wine and appreciate that you only have to cut your own steak.

fireproof posted 8/4/2013 08:53 AM

If you are talking overnight I would visit an old college friend or someone who means a lot to you.

If a few hours each day- leisurely meal with a glass of wine, museum, reading at a coffee shop, spa, touring a garden, a movie, inviting friends out to see live music, yoga, shopping and actually trying on clothes

Enjoy the time! I believe that children will benefit as well

musiclovingmom posted 8/4/2013 12:18 PM

Fireproof - I wish I was talking anywhere near that amount of time. I'm talking maybe 3 hours (an hour of which will be spent driving to and from town) one time. Lol.
We only have one museum in town and I've seen it - lots. My only gf who won't be at work is down with a bum knee. My massage therapist is on maternity leave (and I'm picky about who does that). Since I'm nursing, drinks are out (not that we have a wine bar here anyway). I hate shopping (I'm a larger person and the ill fitting clothes available here only reinforce my negative self-concept). The bookstore sounds nice. My favorite one recently closed (a local job with a built in coffee bar). That leaves Hastings as my only choice, but I can't even remember the last time I actually got to just leisurely peruse the books. And if it isn't a children's book (or not just friends), I haven't even been able to think about reading it in months.

Mandilwen posted 8/4/2013 12:57 PM

I'd go to dinner or lunch and a movie! When I first divorced, my absolute favorite thing to do was grab some White Castle and watch Avatar. Then I'd have a drink, and was ready for my kids to come home, lol. Of course I had the rest of the weekend alone with nothing to do. Have fun and enjoy your break!

Dreamboat posted 8/4/2013 16:09 PM

How about shopping for things around the house? Decorations, kitchen gadgets, plates, a fluffy comforter, things like that.

An adult movie, especially one that you enjoy but your spouse does not, would be a good use of time. But you would need at least 2 hours in town for that.

I always enjoy browsing thru the stacks in the library, plus it is free.

A mani/pedi is a nice indulgence. Bring a magazine and flip thru that while they are working on your nails.

And if you spend most of your time stuck in the house with the kids, then even a nice drive would be relaxing (but not if you have to fight traffic a lot or spend a good portion of your day playing chauffeur). Or if you have a state park nearby you could go for a hike or a leisurely nature walk.

I know you can find something that allow you to relax and unwind a little. Enjoy!

heforgotme posted 8/4/2013 18:30 PM


karmahappens posted 8/5/2013 00:53 AM

Casino, wine , mani - pedi, more wine, massage and um...some wine?

tushnurse posted 8/5/2013 08:09 AM

Mani/Pedi, Spa treatment of a facial? Those are always at the top of my list, along with a massage, but I see that's out.

One of the other things that I LOVE to do is go to the shooting range, yes the shooting range. I practice shooting my 9mm mostly. But it's something that takes concentration, see myself getting better, and definitely not a kid activity. Or going to the driving range, and hitting a bucket of balls, then going to grab a bite to eat at a nice restaraunt.

musiclovingmom posted 8/5/2013 19:29 PM

Tush - See, I'd take my daughter to the shooting range. She got a hot pink .22 for her second birthday. It's a family activity here so that our kids learn gun safety (if I'm gonna have them in the house, I want my kids to understand their proper use and real dangers).
We ended up going to the county fair as a family (including inlaws). My H got a call this afternoon to go out of state tomorrow for 'several days', so my alone time will have to wait. Only 11 more days until we leave for our anniversary weekend - minus kids as a couple overnight for the first time in a year.

asurvivor posted 8/5/2013 19:36 PM

I could use someone to do my yard work.

purplejacket4 posted 8/5/2013 23:14 PM

Um, I know this will sound weird coming from a doctor but have you heard of the concept called "pump and dump?" It's what we tell new mothers to do when they want to have a little wine. Or don't dump if you want a kid to sleep well!

tushnurse posted 8/6/2013 08:52 AM

We take our kids to the shooting range too, and often that ends up being about them, and I don't really get a chance to to shoot my 9mm's. That's why I like to go alone!! If H is with me, he is always telling me how to get better, which I find highly annoying.

I hope you have a great A trip. Time alone with each other is invaluable.

Rebreather posted 8/6/2013 11:01 AM

I'm a junk shopper. I love to visit "antique" stores looking for treasures I can screw around with. Because then it gives me alone time to sand and strip and paint and be creative. I've been hunting for the perfect little dresser for months. The hunt is half the fun - and can take up a lot of time! And free to look.

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