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OK, so my h travels to Asia, had an A with a karaoke hostess. That was 3 years ago, we're supposed to be in R. I found suspicious cards in his backpack. 1 for someplace called the love palace, 1 for a belly dancing place and 1 for a massage place. Strangely enough I got a chance to snoop because he went to church and I stayed home. The one for the love palace had a name and number on it. It's been 3 years since the A, but whether he's getting new stuff or hanging on to old, neither is a good sign for R. Just needed to vent in here, I don't want to tip my hand.

make copies and keep looking. Sorry you are needing to do this.

I did, I'm sending it to his old email account with all the other stuff. I've got pictures of him and her in bed together the whole 9 yards. It's pretty much an awful ongoing thing. I'm getting my ducks in a row, in case R doesn't work out. I don't see much hope. He still drinks, he's still looking at porn and probably still scouting out women in other countries. I think he just want me to go along with the program so thing can get back to "normal", so he can have his cake and eat it . The difference is I always had a feeling, now I know and I can no longer close my eyes to the truth. I'm just going to play along until the time is right for me to make a move.

I don't think he can help himself

I would think that if he was serious about R he'd be rid of those cards. Big red flag to me.

Also a fellow SIer had a great post about porn...

"The behaviors you have described (sneaking porn daily) lead to isolation, fantasy building, and lying. The primary problem, other than objectifying other humans, is that it interfers with intimate emotional bonding in a relationship." by startingover62

Keep in stealth mode and watch your bank accounts and investments. Make copies of everything financial. Hugs.