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lostsoul214 posted 8/4/2013 10:59 AM

Well I've been pretty miserable the last month. The separation is still fresh to me. Confidence, ego, and everything ripped from me. She has been in an A for 5 months now. I go out to a pool party and I start talking to the prettiest girl there.We hit it off and I'm feeling great. The first time in this time span that I have not thought about her. I get home fall asleep. I have a dream that I get home and the wife is there. She starts talking to me. We reconcile and we are as happy as we can be. I wake up... I'm the happiest I have been in a very long time. The best feeling. Euphoria wears off and I'm back to square one. I have done so many things this last month that would have never done. I succeed feel great and proud. Then something happens when she pops up and its ruined.

keptmyword posted 8/4/2013 12:22 PM

Your confidence and ego should be fine and intact - believe it or not.

Your trust and belief in your WW? Shattered and non-existent - obviously.

Have you betrayed her? no. You have been honest and true. Your integrity is intact. Hers is gone forever. She will never get it back.

Infidelity is NOT a marital problem. It is a personal problem. It has nothing to do with you or your marriage. Although many waywards will perceive trivial issues in the marriage as a great excuse or justification for acting on self-worth issues that existed in them long before you met.

It has nothing to do with you and your abilities.

OK now posted 8/4/2013 16:19 PM

About the one chance you have of bringing your wife back to reality is to file for divorce.

Make her see you are moving on, not waiting to see if she will return one day. You have to do something to get you confidence and self-respect back, and demonstrating to yourself that you have the personal strength to say goodbye to this marriage is a good way to do this.

You need to show your wife that you will not tolerate her contempt and disrespect.