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This is my first post. I just found out a few days ago, truthfully I can't even remember when it was exactly.
We have been married 10 years. 3 kids. I just had the 3rd two weeks before D-day. I found text messages. He didn't admit at first so I contacted her.
He wants to reconcile. I've been through so much abuse by him. Emotional and sexual and now this. I feel shutdown, like I can't actually feel.
I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone.

Please try to think clearly regarding what is important to you....is this something you really want to fix?? We are hear to support you what ever you decide...big hugs

Oh Hon, I am so sorry you have to go through this. You must be exhausted with a new baby and sleeplees nights. Please take care of yourself.

First you have no reason to be embarrassed. You need to be able to have a confidante in real life. Don't face this alone. Has he ever physically abused you? If so, you need to get away from him with your kids.

You say he wants to R. Has he expressed remorse, been transparent, willing to go to MC or IC?

Please take care of yourself and keep posting. Posts are slow on the weekends but help will come. Also read the Healing Library. Hugs.

He is willing to go to MC. I'm not sure that I am. He never fully admits its his fault. I guess at this point I feel ambushed. I'm going to a family law attorney tomorrow.

(((hugs)))
Good for you for going to see an attorney.
If this relationship is not a healthy place for you to be, maybe this is the nudge you have needed to leave it behind.

I decided to stay. For now. It a really rough patch the last few days. Was hoping being at work would help but I find myself having that I want to cry feeling. How do those of you who have been dealing for awhile not constantly scream at your partner? I just want to tell him over and over how much I want to leave and how could he do these things...

I can't truly give advice as I separated once I found out my H had yet another affair.

But I can relate to the feelings of I hate you, I hate what you did to the kids, I hate what you did to me.

Who knows why they do what they do? If I was unhappy in my marriage I would go for some counseling or divorce, I wouldn't go out and cheat. That's only making everything worse.

I do hope his abusive tendencies are under control. For me, that would be a deal breaker.

Take care of you and your kids. Congratulations on the new addition

Hugs!
Deb

Edited to correct an error.

[This message edited by forlornheart at 11:20 AM, October 28th (Monday)]