SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

ArableSands posted 8/4/2013 12:47 PM

Someone was right in another thread. Morphine and other powerful physical painkillers do dull or even eliminate emotional pain. I have some leftover percocets and they seem to be doing the job. I'm not in agony anymore, just numb.

mchercheur posted 8/4/2013 13:10 PM

(((ArableSands)))

Be careful, ArableSands. They are very addictive.

Try to substitute something not so unhealthy if you can't stand the pain ( & believe me, I understand about not being able to stand the pain anymore.)
For the first 6 mos after Dday, I was afraid to try anything stronger than passiflora (it is an anti-anxiety herb,also called Passion Flower, used for anxiety & insomnia, & you can buy it in the Health food Store.) Of course, the best would be to substitute exercise, meditation, prayer.
But I know how it is when the pain is so sharp.
You don't want to come out of this with a new problem ( addiction). You deserve much better than that---be good to yourself.

It will get better. Sending you strength.

[This message edited by mchercheur at 1:11 PM, August 4th (Sunday)]

doggiediva posted 8/4/2013 13:28 PM

The tolerance for the drug or alcohol increases over time..

You find that it takes more drug or alcohol to get to the same kind of numbness..

It gets to the point where the dose or amount of pain killers or alcohol taken to get numb becomes extremely unhealthy, opening the door for multiple health issues to come into your life..

As others have posted, meditation, exercise and hobbies help the pain in a different way..May not get rid of the pain, but provides for a pleasant distraction..

burnt_toast posted 8/4/2013 14:16 PM

I understand, we all understand how unbearable this is. As a divorcee and as person who has greived the normal use of her legs both in the course of 5 years, I have hitted the rock-bottom twice and back. I understand DOUBLY the temptation of self-medicating the emotional pain when the pills are right there.

Numbing the pain has a terrible side effect : it delays your greif and therefore impairs your capacity for emotional healing. Don't tamper with this.

Susan Anderson has a wonderful exercise in her book Journey from Abandonment to healing. It's called Staying in the moment. It WORKS. It saved my sanity during the A and the D. I also used it when I was confronted with the wheelchair. It saved my life.

Another activity that is proven is exercise. The bonus with this one is that it releases powerful, naural, good soothing chemicals in your brain. Even if it's just taking a 15 minutes walk on your lunch break (I told that to a divorcing friend who was sedentary. He ended up running a marathon a year later. That's how addictive exercise chemicals are, it seems!)

If you feel you need some serious chemical help, consider seeing your Md for something that's safe and appropriate for what you are going through. Many of us had to. You won't get numb with the good prescription of ADs, just strong enough to go through the healing process instead of over it.

Getting as healthy as possible will allow you to think better, feel better and heal better. I know that for a fact.

Hang in there. It will get better. Trust me.

[This message edited by burnt_toast at 2:23 PM, August 4th (Sunday)]

kansas1968 posted 8/4/2013 15:15 PM

Be careful. Those pills are powerful.
You might talk to your counselor or your doctor about prescribing and anti-depressant. I avoided the anti-anxiety medications because of their side effects but had no problems with an anti-depressant and weaned myself off of them.
I also used a LOT of alchohol, but have weaned myself off of that also.

Just don't let your wifes infidelity break your heart AND turn you into a addict. That is a lose/lose for you.

This pain will get better, I promise. I wanted to fix everything in a week also. I am a fixer, but just couldn't fix this one without the time and the work. Not for lack of trying at first. Keep posting. You will get through this. Hugs. K

traicionada posted 8/5/2013 07:56 AM

My younger sister is a recovering addict and yes she starting abusing pain killers to numb the emotional pain she wasn't equipped to handle; please please pretty please don't fall down that rabbit hole. Sending thoughts of strength and healing