Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.
But we did. We started at about 3.5 weeks, but it's different for everyone. The first few times were not very fun. Lots of crying from me. But pretty quickly it was ok....like a bonding sort of thing.
And now, to tell you the truth, it's great. He's much sweeter and more emotional about it than he was pre-DDay. But it took a while to get there and it's only been in probably the last month that I can enjoy it without reservation (most of the time).
In any case, don't rush yourself. This will be an issue for obvious reasons and your WH will need to be patient.
It is perfectly fine in this situation to not have sex with him though. He could have an STD. You're going through a traumatic experience and thoughts / images will be there. Ten days is very early.
I spent the first few months after Dday focusing more on the physical aspect of it. Not the emotional. This was actually a growing experience for me, and allowed me to reach some new levels of having quality orgasms.
When you start to feel safer, and more trusting, and real healing starts, then you will be able to have the emotional part. But it's totally up to you, and you should not fee pressured if you aren't ready.