me: BW, 30
My H and I talked again yesterday. I am able to hold my tongue less and less these days. I'm tired of the rug-sweeping and the cake-eating, so whenever we get a moment alone (hard with a toddler) I try to talk to him, figure out where his thoughts are.
I told him that it is very important that we start doing whatever it is we need to do to fix this (if that is in fact what we both want) - otherwise there is going to come a point where I no longer want to. With each day that goes by of non-transparency, anger takes over a little bit of my sadness. Once only anger is left, he will have lost me for good. If that's not what he wants, I suggested he better get his shit together and start helping me heal.
Long story short, he said this: "It's always been your way or the highway! If that's how it's going to be now, I'm choosing the highway."
What. The. Fuck. That tells me everything right there, yes? It's time for me to turn around and run as fast as I can. There was also quite a bit of blame-shifting and rug-sweeping during our conversation (as if "I'm taking the highway" wasn't bad enough. We're not anywhere close to reconcilation. Part of me wants to keep at this, but I'm so mentally exhausted, I don't know how much fight I've got left in me.
I think today I will be writing the OW's BF. My H insists that they're relationship "isn't like that" anymore, but I'm not buying it. If that was the case, he could unlock his phone/ give me access to all his stuff. He's still hiding something and, while I'm not sure I give a shit anymore, I'm going to try to get to the bottom of it while I'm waiting for a frickin' attorney to return my calls.
This is mostly just a rant - I'm pretty sure I know what I need to do at this point. Anybody got any advice on what to say to the OW's BF? My mind was racing last night while I was trying to fall asleep, and I think I know what to tell him, but I'm open to suggestions.
[This message edited by krazy8516 at 11:05 AM, August 5th (Monday)]
him: WH, 25
us: edging closer to R every day
married 2y, together 2.5y
1 beautiful daughter, 23m
"Someday soon, I'm going to put my life together; Win or lose, I'm starting over again."