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Why did this trigger me??

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She11ybeanz posted 8/5/2013 12:15 PM

My mom missing my daughter's birthday triggered me. Triggered me in the way I used to feel when I wanted to go off on XWH during the affair....

I want to email her and sperm donor and sperm donor's mother and yell at all of them and tell them what POS they are and say "HOW DARE THEY" brush off my baby girl's big 1st day and tell them how much they will regret not being a part of her life and just go off!

But, I digress... and I say nothing and I keep up with NC.

Because I know none of the above will do any good.....because I know that it won't make any difference what I say to them.... because I know they are all blame-shifters and will have their own petty justifications for being royal heartless douchebags!!!

I heard from sperm donor's ex-wife (mother of piper's half brother and sister who ALL came to her birthday Saturday) that sperm donor's mother has pancreatic cancer now. Part of me wants to reach out to her but I don't because I know that she will just respond in a combative and ugly hateful way..... like she did when my sister tried to get her to hold Piper a couple of months ago and she growled out a big resonating NO!

I hate that she is possibly dying.... and the sympathetic HUMAN part of me wants to be nice to her..... but the motherly protective side of me thinks its best to just leave her be. She hates my child and I.... and maybe the best thing I can do for her is to continue to be non-existent in her life....

Williesmom posted 8/5/2013 20:58 PM

Yep. No contact for sure on this. These are just people that you used to know.

You definitely got the best part of the family with your little one.

Survivor3512 posted 8/5/2013 21:06 PM

(((Shellybeanz))) I agree with williesmom. Stay NC and focus on you and that fabulous baby girl!

She11ybeanz posted 8/5/2013 21:15 PM

I am.... I think my protective baby momma instinct kicked in and made me wanna go postal.... but I will definitely resist....

AgainandAgain posted 8/5/2013 21:53 PM

Triggers me every single time.

I have become so much better at sitting on my hands instead of sending a scathing text or email.

My mother does "birthday shout outs of love" on her FB. She does them for me even though we don't speak. She did one for people she makes fun of and can't stand. She did not do one for my dd for her 1st Birthday. I was beyond rage and set out to send her a message but I didn't. What's the point?

Try to take all the negative and turn it into positive energy. For example, when you want to blow up, go over to Piper and give her a hug and tons of kisses. Tell her you love her.

I guarantee one look on your little angel's face and you will just smile


Kajem posted 8/6/2013 20:24 PM


My mom has blown off my kids and I for years. Like you, it used to really bother me. A long time ago my friend shared that her mother did the same and she (my friend) made it a point for each time her family blew off her kids-she would make sure to spend an hour doing something she wished her family would do with her kids.

It's meant my house was a lot less clean, but my kids got to experience other parks, other libraries-not close to us. They have had basic sewing classes, scrapbooked, learned to knit, etc. All things my grandmother did with me, that my mother missed out on doing with my kids, I did with my kids. It has enhanced my relationship with them growing up.

Learn from my wise friend- give piper more of your time and she won't miss out on grandma.

Hugs, if I loved closer- I would be an adopted Grammy. Grand kids are the best!


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