to my wh that knowing he told ow "i love you" still hurts... even 17 months after dday.
at 3 months after dday, i asked him if she was prettier than me (during an emotional discussion) and he said "yes".
those two things hurt me still.
r is going well. it seems to be the usual roller coaster that i read about here on si... wh has been completely out of the fog, nc, transparent, and trying to help me heal by proving himself with his actions... he realizes now that he never did truly love the ow and what a sham of a life he was living.
when we were talking yesterday, i told him that i still feel heartbroken that he said those words... "i love you"... to her. and that he told me, even if it was only once, that she was prettier than me.
he doesn't understand why or how, after all these months of good r... that the things he's done since then don't somehow negate those things he did then. (he hasn't said that they weren't hurtful or that i that i shouldn't be hurt...) he asked me, "how come all the times i've told you you are beautiful and that i love you don't mean anything? how come all you remember is the past" what about now?"
how do i express my appreciation for and acceptance of his compliments and i love you's now... while still having hurt feelings about what he did during the a?
i am so bad at expressing myself with words, especially if i am upset... and i have read so many posters on this site that have such wonderful ways to word things.... and when i read them the light bulb goes off, and i'm like... "YES!!! that is exactly how i feel!!!"
apologies if this was rambling or unclear... i do hope someone understands what i am getting at here...
thank you so much for any input guys....