I don't know if this will help any, but I do some little thinking things to work towards acceptance, that I made up myself. Mine and our daughter's entire lives are changing because of what nearly ExH did and there has been a massive amount to accept.
When I started to think of acceptance as a journey, it helped. It's part of every day for me now, a little at a time, or a process. Sometimes I've gone so far as to give myself a small reward, also, even if it's not spending money...one more tv show, one more piece of candy, two minutes longer to get up in the morning...it's moving slowly and being gentle on ourselves.
I haven't read your profile, I'm sorry, but my spouse has been gone now for a year and a half. For a little background he never told me himself that he wasn't returning, so acceptance was a long time to come...it's still not all there.
Part of it for me is to do a lot of realizing. Opening my mind to new thinking, opening the box I used to think in and making it bigger. When I let myself realize things about current day life, it's very slowly helped me to accept...I have not forgiven and don't know if I can, but I've begun to accept in very small steps.
One realization is that I had many things to detach from and this is part of it that helped, sort of like a level or rung on the ladder. I had to accept that I am not a married person anymore and my future is not what I spent 20 years working towards...it was ripped away in a most cruel way.
I've had to realize that the person I thought I knew is actually not who I knew and basically the one I knew, died...the body lives on but is another person altogether. Strange, huh? I've heard the term "pod person" before, when a spouse has an affair.
I'm sorry for the long note and hope anything I wrote helps. There are other things I work on with my thinking towards acceptance, if you want to hear them.
The thing is...life goes on, somehow. The days keep coming, the sun keeps rising and life continues on. I've had to have talks with myself also, about how many more days I will let that man ruin and it's helped me to have more periods of better times.
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
Henry Ford invented cars to pick uo girls. Damon Wayne