I am sorry you have found yourself to our club. A club no one ever thought they'd find themselves a member of.
Please know this is a safe place filled with kind and caring people.
Most of us share the experience of dealing with infidelity. Over 40,000 people and sadly growing.
So often the spouses whose mates are in the midst of an affair hear that the WS is "in love" with the OP.
Thus the BS experiences an anguished fear that because he or she claims to be, "in love" with the affair partner, it must mean that the marriage is over and the cheating lovers are meant to be together. " Soulmates" - because they now feel the intense passion of a fantasy relationship.
But of course they are, "in love." That's what an affair is. It's what the addiction is. It's an emotional response (without rationality, commitment or long term thinking) that causes us to do things that are not in our best interests and that hurt other people and destroy what we have worked hard to build in our lives - things like homes and families.
The idea that love should be the deciding factor is any of this is completely erroneous.
As is the idea that love is some magical chemistry between two people. It's neither of those things.
Romantic love really is nothing more than a mathematical equation. Spend enough time with someone meeting intimate needs of conversation, affection, admiration, and play time - and you will fall in love with that person.
Your WH is not living in reality. He is living in a fantasy world that is safe, fun and no responsibilities. Know this.
And please know that his choosing to have an affair had nothing to do with you. NOTHING. His choice to cheat and lie. His, not yours.
I am sure there is a lot going on in your mind. Post often, ask anything. We are here and you matter.
Did you WH indicate what he wants to happen next?
Deep breaths and take one day at a time.
(((hugs & prayers)))