I am so sorry you are suffering like this, but I want to assure you...it will get better.
You will be OK just not for a some time.
You have already taken the first step to healing, you reached out for support.
You found a very safe place full of very compassionate people that know exactly what you're going through.
We've all been where you are now and most of us have made it out the other side.
We will do our best to help you while you find your way, too.
I hope you share the rest of your story. I also hope your WH has come to his senses and is working to repair the immense damage he has done.
For now, please take good care of you.
The shock of infidelity can cause PTSD. It takes such a heavy toll on the betrayed. What you're feeling is normal, awful but normal. Sometimes it takes months to begin to process it all.
Do what you need to do to heal yourself. Be kind to you now. If you can go to IC, it helps a lot.
It is your WH's job to fix himself. You can't fix him because you didn't break him. You did nothing wrong.
With time, you can work together to fix your relationship and save your marriage if that is what you decide you want. I have been right where you are, in all that pain, with all the confusion, anger and shame, never thinking for a minute that I would survive...but I did.
You are not alone. You owe your son your love. Hug him, cherish him.
(((many hugs and prayers)))