What books have you read?
Have you invested in any marital recovery resources?
Look, IMO, sexual fulfillment is a vital part of a marriage and it's a vital part of a healthy recovery. Most of the affairs that I've seen start up again are a result of a sexless marriage. (THIS IS PERSONAL OBSERVATION) IMVHO, Nothing being done to change or address this is dangerous for the health of the marriage.
A book that helped my wife & I can be found in the healing library called, Surviving An Affair, by Dr. Willard Harley, Jr. He also has another book I like called, His Needs, Her Needs that we found helpful in this area too.
I would seek out some writings from noted authors & doctors familiar with overcoming sexual aversion in the marriage.
Please know that I'm not blaming you for your aversion to sex, I completely understand. I believe it's a natural response to such a huge betrayal...
IMVHO However, and it's a big however, only you can really make the major changes that are necessary to overcome the aversion.
Communicate this openly and honestly with your H and if necessary work with a professional to help both of you.
Please, whatever you do, don't ignore it....
I know of two BS's where the untreated emotional aversion to sex, over time, transferred into physical pain during intercourse for the BS.
D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007
"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!
Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin