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Newest Member: meepsy (46028)

User Topic: I'm out for a while
wert
♂ 34478
Member # 34478
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Often people disappear from these boards and I have wondered whatever happened to them and the stories they shared. Given that I want to let people know I am checking out of SI for a while. Things are pretty good, but time and attention are needed elsewhere.

I am sure this is an overstatement but SI in many ways saved my M and to a large degree my sanity. It gave context and caring to what I was experiencing with my W's betrayal. It helped to hone my thoughts and feelings about my M and my life post A. For that I will be forever grateful.

There is a long list of people to thank. If I attempted to list them I would miss the point of SI I think and that is collective wisdom. Sure a timely comment or post is helpful, but its the collaboration here, the sum is greater than it's parts that has been enlightening for me. So thanks to those who started, maintain and continue to contribute.

Ultimately betrayal is about the self. WS or BS are just names. If you did the betraying you violated yourself first then your partner. I think that is great context for the BS to consider. For the BS the very way you conceptualize the world has been changed. How you resolve being betrayed is your task.

Context is everything. It is critical to remember that a persons situation is not another's. People are at different stages in healing, hurt and helping. We all have our own histories and they play out in the stories of our lives. They matter greatly to each of us and they shape the way we think, feeling and react. Keep that in mind when given or receiving advice.

BS's -- Don't let someone's stupidity and selfishness determine your direction. Make that call for yourself.

Write your own story.

Be your hero.

take care...



Posts: 1459 | Registered: Jan 2012
rachelc
♀ 30314
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

well crap. I really liked your collective wisdom...


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”


Posts: 5766 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
AFrayedKnot
♂ 36622
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Peace and strength on your journey.

Thank you for everything.


BS 40
fWS 37 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2692 | Registered: Aug 2012
HardenMyHeart
♂ 15902
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 9:22 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad to hear things are going pretty good. Best wishes to you wert.


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.


Posts: 5758 | Registered: Aug 2007
tired girl
♀ 28053
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The way you have handled yourself throughout this journey so far I know has been an inspiration to many.

Your wisdom will be missed on this board, however I understand where you are at as I am finding myself in the same place more and more.

I am very happy that things have turned out the way they have for the two of you. Best wishes and peace on your continuing journey.
TG


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 5243 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
OptimisticWife
♀ 36587
Member # 36587
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've really learnt a lot from your posts. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and wisdom.
All the best to you and your loved ones.

Posts: 190 | Registered: Aug 2012
Rebreather
♀ 30817
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Best wishes to you wert. I'm another that needs to focus more elsewhere. Just happens.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6693 | Registered: Jan 2011
LosferWords
♂ 30369
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Take care, wert.

Stop back by and see us every once in awhile.


Why don't you just say it? I'm the worst toy-maker in the world. I'm a Cotton-Headed Ninnymuggins!

Posts: 8237 | Registered: Dec 2010
sisoon
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Add me to the list of people who have benefitted from and will miss your posts, and I wish you the best.


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10754 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
crazyblindsided
♀ 35215
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wert thank you for the wisdom you have provided here. It has helped many including myself. I wish you nothing but the best!


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
1Faith
♀ 38975
Member # 38975
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dear Wert

Great post. Thanks for all you have contributed as well.

Take care and may your path lead you to happiness.

(((many hugs)))


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1336 | Registered: Apr 2013
Getting to Happy
♀ 35200
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Wert.
Godspeed .


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1151 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
somanyyears
♂ 26970
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


..

..glad to hear things are good..

..

How you resolve being betrayed is your task.

..may we all find our way..

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF wert!

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4134 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
brokensmile322
♀ 35758
Member # 35758
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good luck, Wert! I've enjoyed your posts and your insight.

I hope you will stop in now and again and let us know how you are doing!


Me BS 42 Him WS 44
OW Coworker DDay April 7, 2012
EA on a slippery slope...

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Viktor Frankl

"When you are happy, you can forgive a great deal."


Posts: 1610 | Registered: Jun 2012
LA44
♀ 38384
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 8:02 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Write your own story.

Thank you, Wert.

All the best,
LA


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2677 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Topic Posts: 15

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