Topic: I'm out for a while
Member # 34478
| Posted: 8:19 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013|
Often people disappear from these boards and I have wondered whatever happened to them and the stories they shared. Given that I want to let people know I am checking out of SI for a while. Things are pretty good, but time and attention are needed elsewhere.
I am sure this is an overstatement but SI in many ways saved my M and to a large degree my sanity. It gave context and caring to what I was experiencing with my W's betrayal. It helped to hone my thoughts and feelings about my M and my life post A. For that I will be forever grateful.
There is a long list of people to thank. If I attempted to list them I would miss the point of SI I think and that is collective wisdom. Sure a timely comment or post is helpful, but its the collaboration here, the sum is greater than it's parts that has been enlightening for me. So thanks to those who started, maintain and continue to contribute.
Ultimately betrayal is about the self. WS or BS are just names. If you did the betraying you violated yourself first then your partner. I think that is great context for the BS to consider. For the BS the very way you conceptualize the world has been changed. How you resolve being betrayed is your task.
Context is everything. It is critical to remember that a persons situation is not another's. People are at different stages in healing, hurt and helping. We all have our own histories and they play out in the stories of our lives. They matter greatly to each of us and they shape the way we think, feeling and react. Keep that in mind when given or receiving advice.
BS's -- Don't let someone's stupidity and selfishness determine your direction. Make that call for yourself.
Write your own story.
Be your hero.
Posts: 1493 | Registered: Jan 2012
Member # 30314
| Posted: 8:25 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013|
well crap. I really liked your collective wisdom...
his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
“Never be so focused on what you're looking for that you overlook the thing you actually find.”
Posts: 7462 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 36622
| Posted: 8:31 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013|
Peace and strength on your journey.
Thank you for everything.
fWS 37 (SurprisinglyOkay)
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"
Posts: 2812 | Registered: Aug 2012
Member # 15902
| Posted: 9:22 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013|
Glad to hear things are going pretty good. Best wishes to you wert.
Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled
Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.
Posts: 5951 | Registered: Aug 2007
Member # 28053
| Posted: 9:30 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013|
The way you have handled yourself throughout this journey so far I know has been an inspiration to many.
Your wisdom will be missed on this board, however I understand where you are at as I am finding myself in the same place more and more.
I am very happy that things have turned out the way they have for the two of you. Best wishes and peace on your continuing journey.
Me 46 Him 46 Hardlessons DS 26,24,21
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
Posts: 5851 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
Member # 36587
| Posted: 9:48 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013|
I've really learnt a lot from your posts. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and wisdom.
All the best to you and your loved ones.
Posts: 191 | Registered: Aug 2012
Member # 30817
| Posted: 10:53 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013|
Best wishes to you wert. I'm another that needs to focus more elsewhere. Just happens.
2 ddays in '07
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi
Posts: 7148 | Registered: Jan 2011
Member # 30369
| Posted: 11:28 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013|
Take care, wert.
Stop back by and see us every once in awhile.
Posts: 15372 | Registered: Dec 2010
Member # 31240
| Posted: 1:01 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013|
Add me to the list of people who have benefitted from and will miss your posts, and I wish you the best.
fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 70 (22 in my head), Married 45+, together since 1965, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
I'm not an exemplar. I share my own experience because it's all I know.
Posts: 11867 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Member # 35215
| Posted: 4:29 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013|
wert thank you for the wisdom you have provided here. It has helped many including myself. I wish you nothing but the best!
BS/FWS (me):42 Madhatter
WS/BS:45 Serial Cheater
Together 19 years, Married 14
DDay(s) Too many to count
Final Dday 7/11/14 Same OW2
In Limbo Hell
Posts: 2916 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
Member # 38975
| Posted: 4:38 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013|
Great post. Thanks for all you have contributed as well.
Take care and may your path lead you to happiness.
"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou
Posts: 1564 | Registered: Apr 2013
|Getting to Happy|
Member # 35200
| Posted: 4:45 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013|
Thank you Wert.
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...
Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Posts: 1254 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
Member # 26970
| Posted: 7:47 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013|
..glad to hear things are good..
How you resolve being betrayed is your task.
..may we all find our way..
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF wert!
trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Married 43 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bff/lawyer !!
Posts: 4413 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
Member # 35758
| Posted: 7:57 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013|
Good luck, Wert! I've enjoyed your posts and your insight.
I hope you will stop in now and again and let us know how you are doing!
Me BS 42 Him WS 44
OW Coworker DDay April 7, 2012
EA on a slippery slope...
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Viktor Frankl
"When you are happy, you can forgive a great deal."
Posts: 1844 | Registered: Jun 2012
Member # 38384
| Posted: 8:02 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013|
Write your own story.
Thank you, Wert.
All the best,
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
Posts: 3237 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
|Topic Posts: 15|