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wert posted 8/6/2013 08:19 AM

Often people disappear from these boards and I have wondered whatever happened to them and the stories they shared. Given that I want to let people know I am checking out of SI for a while. Things are pretty good, but time and attention are needed elsewhere.

I am sure this is an overstatement but SI in many ways saved my M and to a large degree my sanity. It gave context and caring to what I was experiencing with my W's betrayal. It helped to hone my thoughts and feelings about my M and my life post A. For that I will be forever grateful.

There is a long list of people to thank. If I attempted to list them I would miss the point of SI I think and that is collective wisdom. Sure a timely comment or post is helpful, but its the collaboration here, the sum is greater than it's parts that has been enlightening for me. So thanks to those who started, maintain and continue to contribute.

Ultimately betrayal is about the self. WS or BS are just names. If you did the betraying you violated yourself first then your partner. I think that is great context for the BS to consider. For the BS the very way you conceptualize the world has been changed. How you resolve being betrayed is your task.

Context is everything. It is critical to remember that a persons situation is not another's. People are at different stages in healing, hurt and helping. We all have our own histories and they play out in the stories of our lives. They matter greatly to each of us and they shape the way we think, feeling and react. Keep that in mind when given or receiving advice.

BS's -- Don't let someone's stupidity and selfishness determine your direction. Make that call for yourself.

Write your own story.

Be your hero.

take care...

rachelc posted 8/6/2013 08:25 AM

well crap. I really liked your collective wisdom...

AFrayedKnot posted 8/6/2013 08:31 AM

Peace and strength on your journey.

Thank you for everything.

HardenMyHeart posted 8/6/2013 09:22 AM

Glad to hear things are going pretty good. Best wishes to you wert.

tired girl posted 8/6/2013 09:30 AM

The way you have handled yourself throughout this journey so far I know has been an inspiration to many.

Your wisdom will be missed on this board, however I understand where you are at as I am finding myself in the same place more and more.

I am very happy that things have turned out the way they have for the two of you. Best wishes and peace on your continuing journey.

OptimisticWife posted 8/6/2013 09:48 AM

I've really learnt a lot from your posts. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and wisdom.
All the best to you and your loved ones.

Rebreather posted 8/6/2013 10:53 AM

Best wishes to you wert. I'm another that needs to focus more elsewhere. Just happens.

LosferWords posted 8/6/2013 11:28 AM

Take care, wert.

Stop back by and see us every once in awhile.

sisoon posted 8/6/2013 13:01 PM

Add me to the list of people who have benefitted from and will miss your posts, and I wish you the best.

crazyblindsided posted 8/6/2013 16:29 PM

wert thank you for the wisdom you have provided here. It has helped many including myself. I wish you nothing but the best!

1Faith posted 8/6/2013 16:38 PM

Dear Wert

Great post. Thanks for all you have contributed as well.

Take care and may your path lead you to happiness.

(((many hugs)))

Getting to Happy posted 8/6/2013 16:45 PM

Thank you Wert.
Godspeed .

somanyyears posted 8/6/2013 19:47 PM


..glad to hear things are good..


How you resolve being betrayed is your task.

..may we all find our way..



brokensmile322 posted 8/6/2013 19:57 PM

Good luck, Wert! I've enjoyed your posts and your insight.

I hope you will stop in now and again and let us know how you are doing!

LA44 posted 8/6/2013 20:02 PM

Write your own story.

Thank you, Wert.

All the best,

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