Someone sent him a message on facebook calling him a dirty boy and to make sure to keep his tongue to himself. I wrote back and said, "What do you mean?" The guy wrote back and said, "I think you know what I mean." I stewed about it for a few days and then finally asked him. He insisted he didn't know what the guy was talking about. Riiiight. He finally confessed after lying right to my face.
He is now beating himself up (ie: feeling sorry for himself) He went on a 2 hour walk last night and then said no one even knew he was gone. Poor, poor baby.
I don't know what to do. I'm scared.
[This message edited by million tears at 9:05 AM, August 6th (Tuesday)]
Married 27 years. Together 29.
3 children 24, 21, 14
OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC. WH just your ordinary asshole.
I'm so sorry. He needs to get help.
I don't know where to go from here.
You titled your post 'third strike'. He's out honey.
Hefty bag his shit. Change the locks.
He is putting you at great risk if he is sticking his tongue in strippers crotches. Don't let him give you an STD like mine gave me.
I am so sorry. Sometimes it is what it is, and some people simply can not change. He has shown you who he is, believe him.
Your WH is a 'dry adulterer.'
As long as you were able to keep him under your watchful eye, he behaved himself (maybe, maybe not). But the second that he gets a taste of 'freedom', *this* is what he does??!!?? And it's a strip club. Guys don't get thrown out for just *wiggling* their tongues in the air.
But then he comes home, gets *found out*, lies about it, and then decides to throw himself a 'pity party?'
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
He says the stripper put her crotch in his face and he wiggled his tongue at her. I have my doubts that that would get him kicked out.
He didn't just wiggle his tongue at her. The only way he would have been thrown out is if he made physical contact with the stripper. If her crotch was in his face, it's pretty clear in what manner he made contact.
If you want them to quit stabbing you in the back, then you need to quit handing them the knife.
As hard as this is going to be you need to kick him out. You don't have to make any decisions about D yet, but get him out and make sure you have a list of requirements for him should you want him to come home and work on himself.
What he did is so wrong
Right after it comes out that he went once and was caught, I wonder how many times he was NOT caught. Or what other activities he did while separated.
You have to draw a line in the sand somewhere. If this action crossed the line then you have two choices: either back up and draw another line OR back up what you said you would do when drafting the R agreement.
If it were me, my spouse would be making curb check as I started tossing her stuff out the door!