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Third strike

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million tears posted 8/6/2013 08:51 AM

Well, WH lied to my face again. He was out of town for work and went to a strip club and did something to get himself kicked out. He says the stripper put her crotch in his face and he wiggled his tongue at her. I have my doubts that that would get him kicked out.

Someone sent him a message on facebook calling him a dirty boy and to make sure to keep his tongue to himself. I wrote back and said, "What do you mean?" The guy wrote back and said, "I think you know what I mean." I stewed about it for a few days and then finally asked him. He insisted he didn't know what the guy was talking about. Riiiight. He finally confessed after lying right to my face.

He is now beating himself up (ie: feeling sorry for himself) He went on a 2 hour walk last night and then said no one even knew he was gone. Poor, poor baby.

I don't know what to do. I'm scared.

[This message edited by million tears at 9:05 AM, August 6th (Tuesday)]

hardtimesinlife posted 8/6/2013 09:19 AM

(((million tears)))

I'm so sorry. He needs to get help.

million tears posted 8/6/2013 09:54 AM

I don't know what kind of help he needs. IC? MC? We went through all of that. It's been 4 years since the A and I'm sure nothing has happened until this latest incident. He just started traveling for work and before that I knew where he was at all times. He was completely transparent. That is how I saw the message on facebook. He acts remorseful. I don't know where to go from here.

painpaingoaway posted 8/6/2013 10:04 AM

I don't know where to go from here.
to a lawyer.

You titled your post 'third strike'. He's out honey.

Hefty bag his shit. Change the locks.

He is putting you at great risk if he is sticking his tongue in strippers crotches. Don't let him give you an STD like mine gave me.

I am so sorry. Sometimes it is what it is, and some people simply can not change. He has shown you who he is, believe him.

gonnabe2016 posted 8/6/2013 10:36 AM

I agree with PPGA. And I think that deep down, you do also....look at your title and what it implies.

Your WH is a 'dry adulterer.'
As long as you were able to keep him under your watchful eye, he behaved himself (maybe, maybe not). But the second that he gets a taste of 'freedom', *this* is what he does??!!?? And it's a strip club. Guys don't get thrown out for just *wiggling* their tongues in the air.

But then he comes home, gets *found out*, lies about it, and then decides to throw himself a 'pity party?'

lieshurt posted 8/6/2013 13:00 PM

He says the stripper put her crotch in his face and he wiggled his tongue at her. I have my doubts that that would get him kicked out.

He didn't just wiggle his tongue at her. The only way he would have been thrown out is if he made physical contact with the stripper. If her crotch was in his face, it's pretty clear in what manner he made contact.

crazyblindsided posted 8/6/2013 14:10 PM

He didn't just wiggle his tongue at her. The only way he would have been thrown out is if he made physical contact with the stripper. If her crotch was in his face, it's pretty clear in what manner he made contact.

Yep

As hard as this is going to be you need to kick him out. You don't have to make any decisions about D yet, but get him out and make sure you have a list of requirements for him should you want him to come home and work on himself.

What he did is so wrong

million tears posted 8/6/2013 15:42 PM

That is what I was thinking. He would have had to touch her. Who knows where that nasty ass crotch has been.

OneFootForward posted 8/6/2013 16:13 PM

My first thing that hit me was "Strip Club." Never mind he got tossed out, but that he went there. I think we all know he was not going to come home and say "What did you do while I was away? Me? I went to strip club! Woohoo!!"

Right after it comes out that he went once and was caught, I wonder how many times he was NOT caught. Or what other activities he did while separated.

You have to draw a line in the sand somewhere. If this action crossed the line then you have two choices: either back up and draw another line OR back up what you said you would do when drafting the R agreement.

If it were me, my spouse would be making curb check as I started tossing her stuff out the door!

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