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Newest Member: Mercedes66 (46046)

User Topic: Snowglobe
cuppacoffee
♀ 39313
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 11:10 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was dusting a shelf and I found the snowglobe the husband bought me for Christmas during the A. It has the date on it. I want to smash it into pieces. It reminds me of how stupid I was.

Do you have any gifts from your WS from the A that you kept or did you get rid of it?


I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 361 | Registered: May 2013
Jospehine85
♀ 35971
Member # 35971
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oddly, during WH's A, he took our youngest out shopping for a Valentine's present for me on the 13th. She picked out some jewelry and then he picked out a pair of chadelier earrings.

Valentine's Day, my daughter made a point of telling me that WH picked out the earrings himself and that she didn't have to do it for him (usual M.O. for christmas). WH made a point of telling me that day that daughter picked them out for me.

After Dday, I discovered that on Valentine's Day, right after he gave me the earrings he had sent MOW an email saying "I love you".

I was going to take the earrings back but WH insisted our daughter picked them out for me. She still insists he picked them. I believe her.

I went back and forth on whether to keep them and finally did only because I like them and...

But part of me suspects WH picked them out for MOW but daughter caught him buying them and he was forced to give them to me.

I figured if that is the case, then he can feel like a giant shit every time I wear them.


Me - BS 40s
WH - 50s
4 Kids
Dday May 2012

Posts: 1056 | Registered: Jun 2012
doggiemom12
36041
Member # 36041
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband gave me a very lovely gold and diamond bracelet toward the end of our relationship. I know he did not pick it out. I am certain one of his girlfriends did.

But I never give back jewelry and it is a nice piece and I wear it all the time. I am just not fooled by it. To me it is kind of a F*** you (to him) now that he is gone. I am alive to enjoy things and he is not.


White bird must fly or she will die . . .

Posts: 268 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: in divorce land
TxsT
♀ 39996
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The Christmas before I found out about the A my hubby gave me an extremely soft cuddly blanket from pottery barn (one of my favorite stores). It was a nice gift but didn't quite compair to the very expensive radar detector I got him. I have kept the blanket because it is our family favorite when we are ill or just need to feel better. It can be a trigger somtimes because I look back at the inequity of the gifts that were exchanged that year but I have come to realize how much I still love the blanket and that in the end it had been purchased with thought.

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
Ostrich80
34827
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can't remember the last time he gave me a gift...but that's a whole other subject


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5277 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
plainpain
♀ 40139
Member # 40139
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sadly(?) I did not get any gifts during the A. The OW did, though. She got jewelry for Valentine's Day. I didn't get anything for Valentine's Day or for my birthday, because we didn't have any money. I did throw away the flowers on the table, after the A was confessed, because he had bought the same ones for her at the same time. So, I'm not sure which I prefer... that I didn't get a gift or that I got a disgustingly disrespectful gift.

My husband did throw out every piece of clothing that he had purchased during the A, and he sold his truck, and he quit his job, and he threw his iPhone in the garbage. Together we basically went through the house and threw out everything that was a 'trigger'. In his office, there were about fifty gifts she had given him that went into the garbage.

I threw out everything he gave me for Christmas - including the battery operated floor sweeper. Barf. Should have been my first clue... getting a vaccuum cleaner for Christmas.

It definitely helps not to have those things around as reminders. We sold our house, too. She was never in it, but it's the 'house of lies'. Buying it 'for me' was the beginning of his sense of entitlement - every corner of it is polluted with his lies.


Me: Believer; 40s
Him: Liar; 40s
Married 19 years
1 year EA/2 month PA/incidental infidelities I can't begin to process
OC born 2014
OW:21
In successful R, but still in just plain pain.

Posts: 809 | Registered: Jul 2013
TxsT
♀ 39996
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Plain...

Ugh, I am sorry. Your post was sad to read. I won't ever know for sure if she gave him anything but we too have scoured the house and purged it of every last reminder of the A. In our case we moved during the A to a different country so anything not necessary was discarded, recycled or donated. Hubby has told me their relationship didn't include gifts, except for flowers. I believe him because I have ripped apart every personal banking statement and credit card bill from the last 5 years and found only the flowers.

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
ArableSands
♂ 39830
Member # 39830
Default  Posted: 11:49 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not gifts from. Gifts to. My wife loved getting hand written letters from me. I had written her once a week from April of this year until DDay in early July, which is the span of the cheating.

So the evening of discovery, I told her to bring me all of the letters and I shredded them in front of her. That was cruel and wrong and I could've handled it better. But I was SO ANGRY and SO HURT -- I felt I had to lash out.

Not something I'm proud of. Not at all.


Posts: 224 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Vancouver, Canada
ArableSands
♂ 39830
Member # 39830
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Actually, the word "Snowglobe" is a bit of a trigger. The movie Unfaithful with Diane Lane and Richard Gere features a snowglobe as a gift given to Lane's character by her other man.

I used to love watching Diane Lane, but I don't think I can anymore.


Posts: 224 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Vancouver, Canada
RippedSoul
♀ 40055
Member # 40055
Default  Posted: 11:56 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't get gifts, either, during the A. Not many before and none since, either, but that's because we legitimately don't have any money. That's what makes it especially horrible that he DID buy gifts for HER.

I would want to smash the snow globe into pieces. Of course, I also like how Josephine wears the earrings her WH bought for the OW. That has a nice touch of irony to it. Love it. So, really, whatever feels best for you. It's a snow globe. It's not an heirloom. It can be lost without being a true loss--if that makes sense.

Triggers and reminders--unless they strengthen you--have to go, IMO. Good luck!


BW: 49; SLAWH: 46; M: 23 yrs
DD#1--11/30/12 (prostitute #1)
DD#2--1/29/13 (AP, escorts #1 & #2)
DD#3--9/13 (trolling MILF site)
DD#4--10/8/13 (EA with AP cont'd)
DD: 20; DD: 18; DS: 16; DS: 14
PS: I've NEVER NOT edited my posts

Posts: 481 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
solus sto
♀ 30989
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Snowglobes always remind me of the movie, "Unfaithful."

Right before the End of the World As I Know It (my ring tone for the past several years, actually), Mr. Trac-Fone gave me the PERFECT Mother's Day present---a gorgeous necklace I love.

I learned that it was purchased, at the Smithsonian, the day after he had a ONS--something he apparently did quite a lot. (Annual convention over Mother's Day weekend; most attendees take their spouses and, often, their children. Mine? He usually rolled back in late afternoon on Mother's Day, empty-handed, and said, "What do you want to do for dinner?" but I digress.)

I gave the necklace back.

But then I thought better of it, and asked for them back. I like it. He is a notoriously awful gift-giver--this was one of his very few successes.

So I keep it. I wear it when appropriate. And think of him not at all when I do.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 9156 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
Rebreather
♀ 30817
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Smash it!

I disappeared some things. Basically anything that reminded me of the affair went bye bye. Except my Kitchenaid stand mixer he bought that Christmas. It got a pardon because of it's basic awesomeness. I think I considered leaving him for it at one point.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Rec'd.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6693 | Registered: Jan 2011
plainpain
♀ 40139
Member # 40139
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh my goodness, that movie, 'Unfaithful'. Ugh. That's exactly what I thought of.


Me: Believer; 40s
Him: Liar; 40s
Married 19 years
1 year EA/2 month PA/incidental infidelities I can't begin to process
OC born 2014
OW:21
In successful R, but still in just plain pain.

Posts: 809 | Registered: Jul 2013
justdoit
♀ 25898
Member # 25898
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Valentines Day of his affair WH got me the most amazing huge long stem roses. Honestly they were a work of art - I even took a picture. Later I found out he also got his whore flowers and by way of explanation he said "but they were just cheap ones from the grocery store". Before and since his affair all the flowers he gets me come from the grocery store, and he buys lots of flowers. I now cringe inside every time he gets me flowers.


Me - 60
WH - 67
Married 35 years
DDay - 5/14/09
He's reconciled, I'm in limbo.
"Stuck in the middle with you"

Posts: 161 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Rocky Mountains
cuppacoffee
♀ 39313
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I told him I found it and he asked me if I was going to go all "unfaithful on him." LOL

It was the most thoughtless gift he had ever given me. He usually is a big gift giving guy and really puts thought into it.

He saw it at Kmart and lied that he had picked it out and held on to it for weeks. he gave it to me that day. i found the receipt.

I know he didn't buy her any big gifts. But I know he went to lunch with her and gave her a key chain he picked out for her with her name on it for when she transfered locations.

He told me to throw it out.


I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 361 | Registered: May 2013
Tred
♂ 34086
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wonder what a snowglobe used as a clay target would look like? Pull!


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4137 | Registered: Dec 2011
confused615
♀ 30826
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He didn't buy me anything during that time..nothing for Valentine's Day..or Mother's Day..or our anniversary.

Oh! He did tell me on Mother's day to "Go pick yourself out a shirt" when we were grocery shopping the Saturday before. I declined. The kids made me cards and breakfast.(They get that from me..being nice..attentive.. )

He didn't pay any attention to me during that time. I was treated like an obligation. He would have had to have noticed me to have considered me.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 8086 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Nicnac
♀ 40131
Member # 40131
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No gifts, but there are things that I used to love that I can't stand the thought of now, like Rita's ice cream. They met for ice cream once and now it's a trigger. WH actually tried to go get us some the other night. I know he was trying to be sweet and get me ice cream, but if he had brought that into the house I would have kicked him out. And the movies. I think I'll eventually be able to go to a theater again, but there is one in particular I will never go to because they had sex in the parking lot. And then went to see a movie. I'll never see that movie, either.

So, no gifts, but he sure did give her a lot of the things that were special to us...


Posts: 80 | Registered: Jul 2013
rachelc
♀ 30314
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

haha Rebreather!

DURING his affair he got me our initials charms from Tiffany to go on a necklace.

I did wear them for a while but now can't bear to look at them. How do you buy something for someone so personal and romantic while you're romantically involved with someone else?


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”


Posts: 5778 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
brkn_heartd
♀ 30396
Member # 30396
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H gave me a GPS unit that he bought the same day he met her at the hotel. He also gave me a necklace, not the style I would ever wear. He had bought if for a Christmas gift. I told him not to bother, I didn't want it. He gave it to me early. I have used it because I needed it. After I got a car with an internal GPS unit, I gave it to my daughter. I wore the necklace once, he got it later but can't stand to wear it now.


Me-51 BS
Him 58-WS
Married 31 yrs, together 34
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10

Posts: 1720 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Northwesten US
Topic Posts: 48
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

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