I just want you to know you matter.
We all make mistakes. We all fail but with humility, love and God's grace we can make it through.
Don't put the pressure on yourself to make a decision today.
Put an x, like you have conveyed, on the calendar and say I will revisit it then but until then I will take it day by day.
You love him and that is okay. But do yourself and your daughter a favor and love yourself just as much if not more right now. YOUR healing has to come first.
Your WH has chosen to lie and cheat on you. You can't fix him because you did not break him. He has to want to change his behavior and be a better man. Only he can do that. Is he at all open to IC?
He has to understand what allowed him to cheat in the first place. These are/were conscious choices each and every time. They didn't just happen.
He also was extremely disrespectful of you and your daughter. How dare he use her in his lies. That is terrible.
It is time for him to pull up his big boy pants (literally and figuratively) and own his actions and accept the consequences.
I would not give him a month to go back and forth between you and the OW. Demand no contact now and if says he can't do that then let him go. He wants his cake and eat it too. Close your bakery. Don't be an option.
You will also want to be tested for STD's. Sad reality of infidelity.
Also consider telling the OW's husband. Nothing flushes out the fantasy of an affair faster than having the other BS know. The lies and secrecy are no longer there. Reality is on full force. If the OW is struggling to keep her own marriage together it is less likely she will have time or risk her marriage to continue the affair. True colors come out pretty quick.
You might also want to consider seeing an attorney to understand your options. Knowledge is power.
Please check out the healing library at the left hand corner and read, read, read.
You are NOT weak regardless of what you decide. To stay or to go takes amazing strength, courage and love.
One day at a time. Let logic lead the way as your heart begins to heal.
We are here for you. But if you need additional support don't be afraid to reach out to family and friends. Keeping this secret is not your responsibility. And stuffing your emotions down can cause physical and mental symptoms. Please don't try to weather this storm alone. It is too much to absorb.
Many hugs and hang in there.
[This message edited by 1Faith at 4:22 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)]