I'm trying to hang in there with NC (10 days solid) but the past two days have been difficult. I keep replaying the past 6 months over and over in my head. How did I miss what he was doing? Or maybe its more like I ignored what he was doing because I didn't want to believe he would cheat... again.
Now I'm wondering if his A has been going on longer than that. What if buying the house last summer was all just part of a bigger plan to eventually kick me out and move OW in with him? Sounds crazy right? But with him I just don't know anymore.
I KNOW it shouldn't matter. I have to keep moving forward. I don't want to be married to a cheater and a liar. I know deep down, somewhere underneath all the anger and disbelief, that divorce is the only option.
It just sucks!!!!!!!
I spent 5 years trying to rebuild our marriage so he could just f*ck me over again! I want to scream and yell and ask him how he could do this to me again. But I know I will never get an answer. Its better if I just keep focusing on me.
F*ck him for doing this to me! F*ck him for doing this to our children!
F*ck him for thinking so little of us!
DDay #1 Tried R
DDAY #2 Divorcing
Burn everything love then burn the ashes.