Hey there. I'm glad that you found us for support.
Yes, you can recover from this. You will survive. Your feelings of being all over the place are normal. You are going to feel like this for a very long time probably 1-2 years. You will want to have crazy, bonding sex with him, run away from him, scream and rage, cling and cry all kinds of emotions and sometimes, within minutes of each other. That is normal.
First off, NC NC NC with the OW. No Contact no new hurts. Your problem isn't her, it's your husband and your marriage. If he has not already done so, he needs to write a NC letter that you see and approve of, and send it to her, then both of you block all means of communication to her phone, internet, etc. The letter should be basic and simple, along the lines of "My decision to meet with you and betray my wife is the worse decision that I have ever made in my life. I love my wife and am totally committed to her and our marriage. I never want to hear from you again. Do not contact me in any way."
Next, it sounds like your WH is showing remorse. Do you have all of his passwords to his computer, phone, and other devices, including social media (Facebook, etc.)? If not, get them. You will want and need to check that he is not in communication with her nor anyone else for some time. This is normal. Him giving you that information, never deleting his history on any electronic device (you do that only), and giving you the devices to scan through at any time will help you quite a bit to calm your fears and to let him start establishing a bit, a tiny bit, of trust with you.
I really do recommend IC at least, and MC as well. It's a lot easier to work through issues with trained help. Be sure to question any therapist about their experience with infidelity and if they have none, or state that they believe that all infidelity is a marriage based issue vice an individual decision to go outside the marriage, then fire them upfront.
And please come back for support. We're all here for you. (((hugs)))
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012