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User Topic: Update on stepkid and the cake....sit back
mariusa
♀ 13541
Member # 13541
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The original story:
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=499601&HL=13541

Well the delivery weekend has come and gone and oh, drama and excitement abound!!
So I baked a cake for my SO's stepkid and if you haven't read the above thread, In a nutshell, She is 21, her mother died 6 years ago and she was giving her stepdad tons of grief on dating me for the past year and a half. Then she needed a cake for her boyfriends birthday and all of a sudden I exist!!

First of all let me say that last week was an extraordinarily stressful week for me. I'm working on a big project at work and I'm trying to sell my house for 2 1/2 years now. I finally got an interested buyer but they are making me jump thru hoops. Plus to top it off my POS ex was in town!!
Well, I never did meet the stepdaughter before I made this cake for her. She emailed my SO the instructions for this cake, who forwarded them to me. It was to be a very specifically themed cake referring to a favorite song.
Now creating cakes for me is like my personal art. I could never do it professionally because I make what I feel for a person. General requests are ok, but ultimately I create something personal for someone with my own interpretation.
So, her instructions were very specific and I didn't think it would work. She picked out a jumble of things from the lyrics and wanted them all on this cake.
So I listened to the song myself and it's all about blue things. And wha-la, it says..."if it were your birthday we would make a blue cake on a blue plate".
That was it....very simple to me.
So I made it simple.
I don't think she liked it.

But (lucky for me?)that wasn't the focus of our meeting anyway....

I take off work Friday to drive with SO all the way down to Philly. He is extremely excited because he planned this great weekend to reward me for making this cake. We get down there and are sitting at the meeting place and she's not there. We were just suppose to basically give her the cake and go. She had her own big birthday weekend plans.
He calls her, she is hysterical because she thought she could run a couple of errands before meeting us and got into a car accident. Nothing serious but the bumper ripped off her zip car. So this is how I meet her...she's hysterical crying.
But like I said...took the focus right off me and this stupid cake!!
Anyway we have to wait 1 and a half hours for the tow truck. And, of course, Zip car won't give her another car. She has this big surprise weekend trip planned and paid for and now no way to get there. So, of course, we take them....160 miles round trip from our wonderful planned weekend. And to top it off....on the way back to our hotel, SO's cars overheating light is flashing away for the last 60 miles. He had just gotten the engine rebuilt last week, yay.

We ended up having a great weekend the rest of the trip. Stepdaughter and boyfriend got a ride back from someone else, thank God!!

But I can tell you, I have not received a personal thank you from the stepdaughter. SO tells me he talked to her today and her boyfriend loved the cake.
I guess that will do.
I think I fulfilled my part.
Is the ice broken.....
....maybe?

I will try to post a picture of the infamous Blue cake.....on a blue plate...

NOT WORKING... OK got it but it's so big!!!

[URL=http://s1276.photobucket.com/user/mariuza1/media/2013-08-02084749_zps4e7177a3.jpg.html][/URL]

White cake with blueberry preserve filling and butter cream frosting

[This message edited by mariusa at 11:02 PM, August 6th (Tuesday)]


BS(me)45 now 48, WH (POS)45 now 48
M 24trs, DD14, DS15
POS OW - then 24, now doesn't matter
D-day 1/2/07, Divorced 11/13/08
ôLive without pretending, Love without depending, Listen without defending, Speak without offending."

Posts: 2059 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: NY
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cheese house, mariusa.

I think the lyrics led you perfectly to the right cake. Pity she hasn't reached out to thank you. I hope you know that reflects solely on HER.

You're a good egg.


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26546 | Registered: Aug 2011
WakingFromADream
♂ 33934
Member # 33934
Default  Posted: 11:22 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just had to say, that is an amazing looking cake.


Me(35) XWW(36) DS(7) DD 11/16/11 EA(PA?) M 11y D 9/3/13

Don't make anyone a priority when you are only an option.


Posts: 1148 | Registered: Nov 2011
AgainandAgain
♀ 34835
Member # 34835
Default  Posted: 11:24 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your cake is absolutely beautiful. I would have loved it if it were for my birthday.

You were so very nice to have done this for her. It's sad she can't take a few seconds out of her time to say thank you. It reflects badly on her, not you. You were so sweet to take time out of your busy schedule.

In my opinion, the ice is broken. The ball is now in her court to come to you. I'm anxious to see if she gives you any more of her requests

Again, the cake is beautiful. I like that you do your own interpretation!


Posts: 237 | Registered: Feb 2012
persevere
♀ 31468
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 11:28 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's beautiful.
You went out of your way for your SO - good for you. Then you even spent part of your weekend driving them. That's awesome & it sounds like SO appreciated it. And then you enjoyed the rest of your weekend. Leave it at that. At least at this point.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4715 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
caregiver9000
♀ 28622
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 11:37 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Beautiful cake!! A work of art. It reflects who you are I think.


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5947 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Dreamboat
♀ 10506
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 11:43 PM, August 6th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think I would die for that cake

You did good. You rode the wave of drama without allowing the drama to control you.

This girl will either get it or she won't. I have a neice that sounds like her, and she has never gotten it. She is now 30-something and her parents have finally given up on her (they had a "final straw" moment recently). Of course your SO is not ready to give up on her and she is young so maybe she will redeem herself. I'm just saying, that if she does not it may be a decade or more of this behavior until your SO has his "final straw" moment.

Regardless, FABULOUS cake!!!


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17695 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
wildbananas
♀ 10552
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 12:04 AM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a beautiful cake. And what a nice thing for you to do for, well, all of them.

I hope she appreciates it and reaches out to you.

You are a good egg, mari.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15449 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Griefstricken25
♀ 29183
Member # 29183
Default  Posted: 2:13 AM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's a beautiful cake and you are so, so amazingly kind to have made it for her.

She sounds like a bit of a spoiled brat, in my opinion.


Me!
3 amazing kidlets
To WXH "Now you're just somebody that I used to know." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NF2edxy-M
D-day and separation - June, 2009
Divorced - December, 2011

Posts: 2529 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: A better place
stronger08
♂ 16953
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 3:06 AM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Next time send her a gift certificate to Carlo's in Hoboken. It will be cheaper and much less drama filled. I feel for you and your SO. One thing I cant stand is a full grown spoiled brat. Especially the type that have no manners or appreciation for those who do for them. They expect the world to bow down to their every whim. My sister has a 24 yo son that is the same way. I'd like to beat the ever loving shit out of him. Took him to DMV last summer and the dumb ass brat could not even fill out a standard registration form for his car. He was stuttering and getting frustrated. He started to give the DMV lady a hard time because he did not understand the form. I piped in and told him to shut the F up. Its not the woman's fault cause your too stupid to fill out a form. I apologized to the woman and she finally was able to get the damn thing done. I took him back home and the first thing he did was start crying to his mother about how the DMV gave him such a hard time. And my dumb assed sister started to pacify his grown ass. I told her she better stop treating him like a child because the kid cant function in the real world. And she was doing him and the rest of society no favors by allowing a grown assed man to act like a child. Shit, my 12 yo has more common sense and appreciation than that bum. And like you I never even got a TY for taking 3 hours out of my day to take him to DMV and putting up with his shit. Your SO better do something because it will only get worse as she grows older. Daddy aint gonna be around forever.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5908 | Registered: Nov 2007
cmego
♀ 30346
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 5:28 AM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is a beautiful cake!!! Go YOU!


me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced


Posts: 4284 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
cayc
♀ 21964
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 7:37 AM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a beautiful cake! At least the boyfriend had some manners!

But it sounds like she treats everyone in her life as her personal concierge so I'm guessing she's in for a hard life of people always letting her down and doing her wrong. Too bad. So sad.


"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott

Posts: 3207 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
She11ybeanz
♀ 27457
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The cake looks delish and I must say that simple is most times MUCH better! I think you did awesomely! Although I hate that she couldn't reach out to you herself after how difficult she has been with you.....but "maybe" this will be a step in the right direction! Just give it time....and let her come to you!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2732 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Kajem
♀ 36134
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:23 AM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Beautiful cake and well done as far as the weekend adventure went. So was her BF nice?


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5746 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Helen of Troy
♀ 26419
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The cake is beautiful!

I'm confused on the relationship. So does it mean your SO was her late mother's 2nd husband? What happened to her (birth/bio) father?


Posts: 4729 | Registered: Dec 2009
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sounds like she treats everyone in her life as her personal concierge

^this. I hate to be a negative voice here, but I don't think the ice has been broken. It sounds like she was acting like this was a transaction, not a relationship.

ps - the cake, however, looks and sounds delicious!!

[This message edited by Amazonia at 8:47 AM, August 7th (Wednesday)]


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13934 | Registered: Jul 2011
gonnabe2016
♀ 34823
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That cake is beautiful!!!!

You were very kind to make it for her, but I highly doubt that she appreciates it. She really does sound like a spoiled brat.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8252 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
jjct
♂ 17484
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 10:41 AM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ice that thick has to be broken from the inside out. You just made a satisfying concierge-like thunking noise on the surface.

Your art is amazing.
I'd bust down if someone made a cake like that for me.
Truly.
Art.


Posts: 6845 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
better4me
♀ 30341
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great cake!!! Remember you are only responsible for yourself and your own actions and reactions. Whether the ice is broken or not, whether she ever thanks you or not, whether she ever gets it or not...you did this kind thing for her and your SO. Doing the right thing? That may have to be "enough" of a thank you...


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:53
Divorced

Posts: 3267 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
aLadypilot
♀ 1822
Member # 1822
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is an amazing cake! I'm so impressed. Too pretty to eat, even.


Divorced 9/2010
Just married 7/4/13

Posts: 4086 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Twin Cities
Topic Posts: 23
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