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How can he sleep??!!

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Completelybroken posted 8/7/2013 02:46 AM

Why is it I'M the one awake worrying all the time yet he (WS) sleeps great??!!!

This sucks

karmahappens posted 8/7/2013 03:05 AM

Hey :)

I hear ya.

My husband used to pass out cold. I think he was so depressed he could have slept standing up.

I was so sick I couldn't sleep at all....

No answers for that one...just (((hugs)))

movingforward777 posted 8/7/2013 03:13 AM

((Completelybroken))...what has you so worried? Are you seeing a counsellor? Sometimes it helps to talk to someone unrelated to the situation, impartial and educated....
You have come to the right place here...SI is full of people that understand how you are feeling, and what you are going through because they are either there with you or have been there....come often, post lots, read, read, read...the wisdom here is amazing....hang in there...HUGS

Gemini71 posted 8/7/2013 03:26 AM

((Completelybroken)) Hugs. I'm up crying in the middle of the night too. At least I had the satisfaction of waking him up to yell at him. I couldn't resist the temptation. If I'm gonna have the Mean Reds, he's gonna have them too.

Completelybroken posted 8/7/2013 03:28 AM

I am worried about what the answers to my questions will be. I am worried ive been an idiot for 5 years. I am worried about how this affects my children.
Yep im in counseling and started AD yesterday.

Bravenewgirl posted 8/7/2013 06:23 AM


You are not alone. I didn't sleep more than a half hour or eat anything for at least 6 weeks after d-day.

WH, meanwhile, was sleeping 15 hours a day. He took a nap less than an hour after OW showed up at our house to inform me about the A. I think its just a form of escape for them. When they are passed out, they don't have to look at the train wreck they caused.

UMBL posted 8/7/2013 08:27 AM

(((hugs))) I think I may have posted this exact same thing back in June. I'm so sorry...I made damn sure he was up if I was up! :) I couldn't sleep for about a month either - after posting on here with these amazing people and getting some counseling - I'm sleeping much better - give yourself time and take short naps during the day if you can. Your whole world has just been blown apart, be kind to yourself.....and wake him up if it makes you feel better!

Pass posted 8/7/2013 08:35 AM

I hear you. I didn't sleep much when I first found out either. Whenever I would notice her nodding off, I would shake her awake and say, "Don't you DARE sleep."

And felt totally justified. You should too. He caused this, so you shouldn't have to be miserable alone.

hopingforhappy posted 8/7/2013 09:49 AM

In my FWH's case, he could sleep because he had the burden lifted off of him--he had been lying and covering up and once the OW came by to disclose his secret, he was actually relieved! It took him a while to realize the extent of the damage he had done to me, but he didn't loose much sleep over it.

cocototo2 posted 8/7/2013 09:55 AM

The thing I get the angriest about is that WH has been relieved of all of the burden while I now have the last 11+ years on my plate to sort through!

Sometimes I wake him up and then pretend to sleep. Petty, I know, but it makes me feel better :)

brokensmile322 posted 8/7/2013 09:59 AM

This used to make me so angry as well. I remember laying there, seething. I would think to myself that it must be nice. I'd also yell that obviously he didn't care that our life was now a mess.

It really does get better eventually and it is part of the process.


purplejacket4 posted 8/7/2013 10:12 AM

This used to piss me off too! How can you make this shit sandwhich and then just doze off on the couch. Of course now I realize it's because she was drinking heavily (for her... she was drinking two drinks a night compared to now when she drinks probably two drinks a month). When she got out of the fog and stopped drinking she got to have insomnia too!

Josephine01 posted 8/7/2013 10:28 AM

Yeah, I used to cry all night and (day) while he slept like a baby. What did he have to cry about he knew what he was doing all along it didn't keep him from sleeping. Why would he sleep any less because I knew? I husband was a basically selfish person and still is in many ways when it comes to this A.

Fireflies posted 8/7/2013 10:42 AM


I haven't been able to sleep or eat since I found everything out on Monday. Yet it seemingly hasn't impacted H's sleep at all. I spent all last night crying while he was sleeping away. I don't get it.

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Fireflies posted 8/7/2013 10:47 AM

Also, upon returning home in the early morning hours on Tuesday, I became so enraged at seeing H sleeping away, that I *might* have dumped a cup of ice water on his head. It *possibly* felt fantastic.

keptmypromise posted 8/7/2013 10:55 AM

Yes. Went through that too. There seems to be one question that never gets answered to BS satisfaction...WHY? We all (most of us) seem to be left in an eternal state of "I just don't get it".

Completelybroken posted 8/7/2013 11:08 AM

Glad its not just me! I may steal your idea cocototo and wake him up and pretend to be asleep.... :-)

1Faith posted 8/7/2013 11:58 AM

I wanted to bludgeon my FWH in his sleep. I couldn't eat or sleep but he slept like the dead.

Just pissed me off more.

Landoes posted 8/7/2013 14:32 PM

I felt the same way. I would see her take naps and sleep 10hrs at night, while I could barely close my eyes.

I feel cheating is the ultimate selfish act. The betrayed are left with nothing but pain, anxiety, depression, anger and paranoia while the cheaters are left with the fond memories of the affair.

mandan66 posted 8/7/2013 19:19 PM

Same story here. Mine would drop off in a few minutes, and be out like a light for 8 hours. It probably helps them (the WS)that they have no souls or Consciousness'.
I didn't start sleeping normally again until mine hit the road for good.

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