Thanks for the post
I've found "Joseph's letter" and can say it mirrors a lot of how I feel about the situation-am thinking of borrowing some of the contents and doing a version of it for my WH to see what he thinks and if he can uunderstand where I'm coming from
I also found the "Everything the WS needs to know" and again am going to show it H to see if he can identify with it and again see my point of view to some extent.
I do feel as if I'm doing all the work here-I honestly think I've done more than my fair share of the dirty work so far- I found out about the affair and kept it quiet for months so as not to jeopardise his job and then I was the one that confronted him.
I've confronted him over lies I know I can prove to be lies and he has tried to tell me I'm wrong -he got angry and defensive and told me to "prove it".
I have told him I don't need to prove anything it is for him to prove things to me.
I am unwilling to disclose all my sources as I think he will alter things so I can't see them. I'm keeping some things back as I can't see where we are going at this time and don't know whether to try and make tthings work or head for divorce. I feel I need some concrete gestures from him to see if/how committed he is to reconciliation.