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Wait for MC?

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Nicnac posted 8/7/2013 05:50 AM

My husband is a veteran, so he gets (limited) benefits from the VA. One thing is counseling, which I do not think our health insurance covers. He had his first IC yesterday and they offered us MC like we were hoping they would, but the MC is in vacay through next week and the week he gets back we go on vacay. So if we use this MC it will be about 3 weeks until we have our first session. I don't know what to do.

Do we jus wait? We talk a lot and have been doing well, but I feel like we've done all we can on our own.

Do we see someone else? We can see someone else in the meantime and just pay for it, but do we then transfer when the VA MC becomes available?

What would you do?

Ladybug22 posted 8/7/2013 09:22 AM

I personally think it depends where you're at. Can he continue IC until MC? Can you put everything "on hold" comfortably until MC? Are you both able to keep going as is until then, or would this be an excuse to keep going with the affair, or keep fighting about it. If things are bad at home, is it possible to reschedule the vacation and move forward with MC?

Nicnac posted 8/7/2013 09:34 AM

He will continue IC in the meantime. Thinking about finding one for myself as well. Vacay is a family reunion, so it can't be rescheduled.

The A is done and over with. I believe him when he says there has been no contact. As far as I've verified it is true. So I am not worried about it continuing. I am worried about him understanding what I am going through and what I am feeling and how he can help. He has been great at home but I am afraid he will become impatient because he doesn't understand, or that he will just wallow in self-pitty in the meantime.

There's no fighting a home, so I'm not worried about that. I just feel like we have come as far as we can on our own. Do I let us just sit in limbo for the next 2-3 weeks?

Morhurt posted 8/7/2013 10:25 AM

We're waiting, and yes I'm anxious to get started with MC but I also feel like we continue to make progress on our own. We're both in IC and will continue that. Final DDay was in early June so it's been a while (in terms of waiting for MC), I'm hoping we get in later this month.
The reason we're waiting is that this woman comes highly recommended and after trying out a loser right away, I want the best!
In the big scheme, three weeks isn't very long. Man I wish our C was covered! Right now we're spending about $200/wk on it, once we add MC it will be more like $350/wk!! Yikes.

Morhurt posted 8/7/2013 10:27 AM

I also wanted to say, get thee to IC!! I can't tell you how much it has helped me. Really and truly. And if you don't like the first person you try, find someone else!

Skan posted 8/7/2013 12:53 PM

If you're sure that the A is over, then I'd go see an IC of my own, and wait for the MC. In a way, it could be beneficial to you both to see and IC on your own before you see the MC, to have a neutral trained someone to talk to and bounce things off of before you go in together.

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