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Newest Member: EllaE21 (60723)

User Topic: pintrest
♀ 39802
Member # 39802
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(background: the OW and my husband used to date for 3 years 20 years ago before he met me. \Then we got married and have been "happily" married for 16 years --yet she started contact with him 3 years ago unbeknownst to me.)

the other woman...she has this pintrest board. On it, she has a tab that says "my favorite places". All of the favorite places on it are all the places she went with my husband 20 years ago. the place the met, all their date locations...and then the weird part is we moved away to another state and she has on it all the places my husband and I lived too!

the whole thing is sick to me! Surely she went places with her own husband that could be her favorites ? Why did she put all the locations she went with my husband on there ? That doesn't make sense to me.

I don't know much about pintrest but can you comment on it? I was going to create an anonymous account and comment on it.

Her daughter's name is even the name of a city that we lived in...the daughter was only born 3 years ago when they started talking. So, it could be that she named her after she found out where we were living.

I just find it really really weird. I don't even remember my old boyfriends. i even dated one for 5 years and i can't remember where we even went to. Besides, I have been to so many other places over the last 20 years that my husband and I went to that I like better.

I can't understand or even wrap my head around the fact that someone was obsessed with my husband for over 20 years. that someone tried to contact him and thought of him for 20 years despite being married to someone else.

For the 20 years I knew my husband I was happy. I thought he was too. But, I saw some of their emails to each other and he wrote how he thought of her every day all the time and thought of trying to contact her all the time for 20 years. I don't know if this is true or not. It never appeared that he even thought of her. I don't know if he really did or not. \he wrote how he was never happy the whole time and the only happy time in his life was when he was with the OW 20 years ago. The past 20 years was nothing but misery. It never seemed like he was in misery the whole time. He seemed happy. I think its just a lie he told the OW. I can believe he thought of her in the last 3 years since there is evidence of that in emails, phone calls, texts etc...but he never even mentioned her before the day she contacted him.

how can you live your life being obsessed with contacting your old boyfriend for closure as she said, when you are married to someone else? i do not understand.

Posts: 309 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ 31529
Member # 31529
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ah-the lure of the "lost love." Overly romanticized and idealized.

Every marriage has it's rough points. And I guess for some it is easier to reminisce about the past than to face and deal with the present. Hindsight isn't always 20/20. I think sometimes that lens gets blurry and everything looks better than it really was.

It is really sad. She is so busy dreaming about a life she doesn't have that she is missing out on the one she does have.

Me-BW (45)
Him-WS (42)
DS 19 (prior relationship)
DDay #1- 10/22/2010 EA/PA with MOW coworker
Dday#2:11/17/2010 beginning secret emails with potential OW#2
DDay #3 11/22/2010 still seeing OW#1
Too many DD's to count: Now up to OW #6.

Posts: 696 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: the south
♀ 35971
Member # 35971
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wife no 2 nailed it.

Pinterest is a bulletin board forum. You create different "boards" for your topics of interests and then you post pictures, usually with links, to info you want to keep.

The fact that all her favorite places are connected to your WH does show an obsession with him.

More importantly is the fact that she posted these to a public board vs a private board only she could see.

In my case, MCOW was stalking me online LONG before I knew she existed. After Dday, she posted things on a public pinterest board that she obviously hoped I would see. It was in response to a private conversation I had with her BH on his facebook account. Yes she hacked her own BH.

Until then, her only posts to Pinterest had occurred when WH first told her I was on it and she created an account to stalk me and then posted a couple items connected to their A.

Your OW wants you to see that board ionlytalkedtoher.

MCOW stalked me on Facebook, Pinterest and TripAdvisor (I kid you not).

The only way to deal with stalkers is NOT too. Crickets. Say nothing. Do not respond in any way.

Meanwhile look up obsessive love on wikipedia.

Me - BS
WH - old
4 Kids
Dday May 2012

Posts: 1569 | Registered: Jun 2012
♀ 39802
Member # 39802
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

that could be. i wondered that. But i don't have facebook or pintrest or anything like that. But it still coulde be fake like you say and only posted on pintrest to get to me or get to my husband or I don't know.

is there anyway to see what day the pics were posted ? or when the account was created ? I am unfamiliar with it.

i think the naming the daughter after a city i lived in is way weird too. In one of the emails I uncovered, my husband said "I long to take you to X and be with you there etc" so they talked about that location. the thing is I can't tell if her daughter is 2 or 3 or what by the pic she sent to my husband's phone. so its possible she named her that after their email conversation---I don't know its very weird to me. weird that she would use her own child as some sort of weird thing with my husband.

Posts: 309 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ 35971
Member # 35971
Default  Posted: 4:23 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pinterest use to label each "pin" as "posted yesterday" or the day of the week if it was more than a day ago. After that it would say "posted (number) weeks ago".

That is how I knew when MOW first posted to her account. It matched with when I know WH told her I was on Pinterest.

They have changed that now and you can't see that information any more.

If you click on her account and look at all Pins, it will list them with the newest on top, oldest at the bottom.

ionlytalkedtoher, it IS very weird that she named her daughter after that city. Is there any chance at all your WH is lying and he has had a long term PA with this OW? Could that child be his? Or do the emails you have read support his story?

Me - BS
WH - old
4 Kids
Dday May 2012

Posts: 1569 | Registered: Jun 2012
♀ 39802
Member # 39802
Default  Posted: 7:59 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

no the child could not be his. we lived 4000 miles away from her until the last few years.

i thought perhaps that she looked him up somehow via spokeo or something and got his address and town location and looked at a map...a lot of the pins are places very close to our old house.

i really dont know. one of the tabs says " my dark side" and its all pics of ppl having sex in artsy ways--not porn--but erotic pics.

Posts: 309 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ 23890
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Was your husband aware of her pintrest board?

Are these actual photos of places near you old house (and is it the house from 4,000 miles away) or one closer. Sounds like she was trying to lure him in...

It also sounds like they are both using each other as an escapist fantasy. No - he didn't think of her everyday for the past 20 years... please! And neither did she.

I think it is well established from reading these boards that unicorn farts contain a powerful hallucinogenic that totally distorts the past, present and future. It makes every day grey, overcast and miserable with only a distant unreachable rainbow promising color again....

[This message edited by Take2 at 8:15 PM, August 7th (Wednesday)]

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4432 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
♀ 39802
Member # 39802
Default  Posted: 8:27 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

she emailed him a link to the board. i found the email. but she didn't say hey look at the favorite places tab it was just ohhh btw i am on pintrest.

no the photos are stock photos from online. we lived near/in a popular tourist spot

Posts: 309 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ 38378
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ow in the case of Nearly ExH put up a lengthy and detailed page of him and her and their "life". It was horrifying to see how different he appeared-even facial expressions that I'd never seen-but, a lot of it looked "mocked up".

What was heartbreaking is that the pictures she used were pictures of him, our daughter and other parts of our life, taken by ME!

They were my own pictures!

Some were in my house! Some were occasions that I made happen and have been so shocking to see that it messed with my head.

Anyway...this is a topic of the A universe that I don't understand, the invasion of a spouse and the intrusion on a spouse's life. It's been a rough patch for me because the advice coming is that "It's not about me, it's about him" and such...which I'm sure you've all heard, too?

But when we see the pictures and computer activity, how is it possible to convince ourselves that we are not to do with it?

For some reason, one of the pictures that triggered me most was of our dog, because he died very near the time of the A changing to PA and my heart was already grieving for him. I felt very strongly that this person invaded my life and why couldn't she leave me alone and all I'd worked 20 years for? Our little daughter also showed up on her pages and it is still obviously in my head.

I'm so sorry for anyone who goes through this part of the warped universe of affairs.

Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington

Posts: 3034 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
♀ 20547
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 8:57 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh, Pinterest is the new way to stalk!

I woke up January 1st of this year and checked my emails. As we were celebrating the start of a new year (and my H's birthday), OW was at home obsessively pinning all of my pins that had captions having to do with my family (like: "I cook these for my husband", or "Make this for COM") and didn't even have the decency to change the captions.

And yes, she was stalking me on social networking sites before I even knew she existed. She was a "friend of a friend", so she was messaging FWH (who had not met her yet) and stalking me.


However, stalking someone 20 years down the road is a whole new level of insanity.

FBS/WS- me.
F(serial)WS/BS- him.

Madhatters. More Ddays than birthdays, at this point.

Posts: 2588 | Registered: Aug 2008
Topic Posts: 10

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