I am 4.5 years out from dday. The first two years were up and down, we separated for spring 2011 so I could decide what I wanted. After a lot of soul searching I decided I wanted to R and to commit fully. We got engaged in Dec and eloped on NYE for a lot of reasons.
Today I was reading on SI and thinking about the fact that he swears he never had OW in his truck but I don't believe him. I accepted this a long time ago so that's not really the issue. I think he's lying about her being in the truck because I know that during the A he took her to a ski resort for a holiday weekend and he always prefers to drive so therefore they would have taken his truck to the mountains.
Then it hit me out of the blue -- they went away for New Year's. He was off screwing OW on a holiday that is now our wedding anniversary.
I don't know why that never occurred to me or bothered me before. (I knew when it happened because I had a keylogger on his laptop.) Now I feel like I was punched in his stomach. And I'm not sure how I will take it if I can get proof he drove up to the mountains and therefore lied about having OW in his truck.
If you asked me yesterday, hell even this morning, I would have told you that I was pretty much healed from the A but now I'm reeling. Hoping this is just a small bump in the road.
I just needed to write it out, I need to work through triggers immediately and didn't want to unleash on H over the phone while he's at work.