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Newest Member: Schattenfell (61077)

User Topic: Why do I still feel this way?
♀ 38735
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh, so I've been nervous the past week or so that STBX would give me a hard time about the D and not sign off on the final papers, just to be an ass. I followed up with him today and he said he will sign and mail them this week. I'm keeping my fingers crossed as the week only has a couple more days!

Anyway, he also let me know that he finished moving everything out of the garage (something I've been asking him to do since last Spring) yet it tugged at my heart strings a bit. I don't get it. I want this divorce, I really do and I want his shit out of my garage. So why do I feel this way? I guess I'm still holding on to some sick need for remorse. I think it's because he seems so whatever about all of this. Like it was no big deal to walk out on his family and move OW in with him.

I know I will never see true remorse from him so I need to quit feeling bad about it. I know I'm healing and getting stronger all the time, but I haven't reached indifference yet. I can't wait to get there.

BW - Me (40)
XWH -The Gnat
"Engaged" to OW, but the wedding appears to be indefinitely postponed.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (8), 1 DS (3)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 1268 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: AZ
♀ 36599
Member # 36599
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Endings are difficult under the best of circumstances. These are not the best of circumstances. Stay strong.

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken

There came a point when it was too painful to love him, so I stopped.

Posts: 468 | Registered: Aug 2012
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:56 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Indifference takes a while, honey, but it will arrive.

In the meantime, cut yourself some slack. There is no quick and easy way to get there. This is a real loss with serious grieving to be done. ((((newlysingle))))

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

Posts: 40223 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 3

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