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HURTAGAIN1981 posted 8/7/2013 18:32 PM

I have a date on Saturday night as the title suggests.

I am a little worried as it is someone I have been chatting to for a few months now. He seems to be one of the 'better' ones so far and I'm just worried it won't go well or he won't be too interested and I know that because of this, I will be more nervous than usual. Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with this?

The last date I had couldn't have gone too well as he arranged a second date with me and cancelled half an hour before!

I usually find it's easier to just meet someone that you haven't been talking to that long. We started talking in May and he went on a trip around Europe not long ago, so we agreed to meet when he got back. When he got back he mentioned the date we had 'planned' and has been in contact pretty much every day since. From what I have seen of him, he seems attractive and also a nice person, although you can't really tell this early on. I just don't want to blow it, obviously I did with the last one somehow

Williesmom posted 8/7/2013 18:34 PM

Baby steps. Don't be nervous- I'm Pulling for you.

wildbananas posted 8/7/2013 18:47 PM

I'm going on a date Saturday too... don't feel alone! I wish I had some tips but I'm nervous, too. My last first date was, oh, in 2007.

Yep, baby steps.

I.will.survive posted 8/7/2013 19:09 PM

Ask questions about him. He'll find it easy to talk about himself no doubt. If he doesn't ask you any, don't write him off. Try to piggy back your own answer after he gives his. You don't want him feeling peppered with questions though, but in a lull ask him about where he grew up, siblings, childhood traditions, dream job/vacation, any kid related things.

On my first date with my SO, I thought "what the heck? This man sure loves to talk about himself." Turns out he was a bit nervous and didn't realize he did that. He even had me touch his muscles. Hahahaha! He's so embarrassed that he did that and doesn't remember that part either.

Have fun and feel confident. Your date will enjoy that.

[This message edited by I.will.survive at 7:10 PM, August 7th (Wednesday)]

HURTAGAIN1981 posted 8/7/2013 19:25 PM

Thanks all!

Williesmom,

Maybe I will have a cheeky drink before I meet him lol!

wildbananas,

I hope your date goes well. I will think of you!

I.will.survive,

That's funny! I will try to get a list of questions to ask, hopefully he won't find it odd when I pull out a clipboard, or maybe I can hand him a questionnaire with multiple choice answers

I've just ordered a new dress too! Ooooh urghhh!!!

HURTAGAIN1981 posted 8/7/2013 19:25 PM

double post

[This message edited by HURTAGAIN1981 at 7:26 PM, August 7th (Wednesday)]

persevere posted 8/8/2013 00:11 AM

I agree with the advice so far - just take it slow and enjoy yourself. I understand the nervousness, I just try to keep it light and simple - not too deep. Enjoy the opportunity - if he's not a match, it was good practice. If you like him, you take it from there.

As I've learned from baggage reclaim, dating is layers. You both unfold gradually - and you have to be prepared that each layer could be good or reveal a deal breaker.

[This message edited by persevere at 12:12 AM, August 8th (Thursday)]

better4me posted 8/8/2013 12:14 PM

You'll do fine, it is normal to feel nervous and anxious and excited all at the same time. I always feel that way before first dates and I've been on many in the past 2 years. You can never know what someone is really like until you meet...and you have a lot of time "invested" in this guy. Remember, he is probably just as nervous as you are. I agree with have a few questions "up your sleeve" and asking about his trip will certainly get him talking.

If it doesnt go well and he isn't interested or you aren't interested...it is a learning experience.

The last date I had couldn't have gone too well as he arranged a second date with me and cancelled half an hour before!
I just don't want to blow it, obviously I did with the last one somehow

Sweetie...^^^I've been there too^^^ but with practice I've come to believe that things don't happen for good reasons too. That second date not working out could have been for many many reasons...and many of those possible reason have absolutely NOTHING to do with you!!

HURTAGAIN1981 posted 8/8/2013 16:27 PM

Thank you all!!!

I will be nervous but I will try my bet to be as normal as possible.

What kind of questions could you ask about a trip? I'm just curious as I'm not a massive conversationalist with new people and often am worried that I may sound stupid asking certain things or saying things.

I'll definitely be having a drink before I go though!

I guess I don't really care about the one who poofed, haven't heard from him since and I certainly haven't lost any sleep over it. I wasn't bowled over by the first meeting and wasn't sure if I liked him anyway but was willing to give it a chance, but at least he made the decision for me, even so it still makes you think that you may have done something to put them off, can't be that bad though as most of the people I have had first dates with have wanted to arrange a second but unfortunately I haven't been interested in them.

Pass posted 8/8/2013 23:02 PM

A friend gave me the advice of trying my hardest to get 20 rejections, in hopes of making me less nervous. Didn't work worth a god damn, but thought I'd offer it up in case it helps you.

better4me posted 8/9/2013 18:32 PM

slight t/j

A friend gave me the advice of trying my hardest to get 20 rejections, in hopes of making me less nervous. Didn't work worth a god damn, but thought I'd offer it up in case it helps you.

I've met that challenge without even trying!! My friends made me stop counting as I was just adding "Here's another funny story about my dating life" every time!

Got2GO posted 8/9/2013 19:13 PM

As a friend of mine told me she doesn't worry at all while doing OLD. She says that she just enjoys the fact that she can get some new idiot to buy her dinner at a nice restaurant at least every two weeks. Then just block their calls!
Girl, go get your free meal and don't stress over it!

HURTAGAIN1981 posted 8/10/2013 08:59 AM

Haha I like that idea of trying to get rejected. I think I would do far too good a job if it though!

Call me crazy, but I usually turn down the invitation of dinner, I don't really feel comfortable eating in front of strangers. Also I never let them pay for anything, if they buy me a drink I make sure to buy one back

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