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Sex Drive?

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MsRukia posted 8/7/2013 19:54 PM

So strange question. I have been more sexually aroused since I found out. I am so upset with him and not understanding why on earth I want sex. I havn't done it with him since before DDay. Nor do I want to cheat. I thought I read somewhere briefly that this happens to some people. Does anyone have experience with this? It's very strang to me.

isadora posted 8/7/2013 20:03 PM

What you are feeling is normal. I went through this too.

[This message edited by isadora at 8:04 PM, August 7th (Wednesday)]

Tired05 posted 8/7/2013 20:59 PM

I felt the same, now I want nothing to do with sex. Not even just with my WH, I get angered at watching a movie or tv show with others having sex. Hopefully this is a phase also.

kickboxer posted 8/7/2013 22:15 PM

You're not alone, my friend.

Try googling "hysterical bonding"...you might find that this behavior is actually very normal (though not everyone experiences it) in the wake of infidelity.

I'm about 4 weeks from DD. In the beginning HB was crazy...when it ended, the sadness/depression seemed to get worse. At the moment, I find myself bouncing back and forth between wanting to be close and intimate with my husband all the time and just wanting to sit alone, crying my heart out.

Enjoy the HB...there's a good chance a gray cloud may show up one day soon, and life is too short not to bask in the sunshine while you can.

womaninflux posted 8/7/2013 22:26 PM

Probably due to a big drop in your serotonin levels. That makes you hyper sexual. Had same thing ... Definitely neede Rx for AD after 2 months.

MsRukia posted 8/7/2013 22:35 PM

Well I asked more questions and got more answers about the affair. Blah I am going to continue abstaining. I just keep picturing him with OW.
Hmm might have to employ a toy this evening.

TS68 posted 8/7/2013 23:46 PM

I also just want sex. In my mind my H is straying bc I have not provided enough. In my case my WH is having an EA, which he denies. But I suspect it could be a PA, but have no proof. So instinctually I 'suck him dry' so to speak, so I prevent a PA.

Lame, I know. Defense mechanism. Plus, I have made the sex all about me for once. About time. At least you are not going out and F#%*!ing some other dude.

Orbiter posted 8/7/2013 23:53 PM

I have been feeling the same thing. I think it is more pronounced since I recently came out to my WG about a kink I have.

I guess HB combined with a desire to explore this is making me nuts. I thought I was crazy, good to see I am not alone :)

brainless twit posted 8/8/2013 02:31 AM

I went through it the first time and I think this time around it's worse. He's not interested in sex at all - I guess I'm not as skilled/exciting as the much younger OW - so I ordered a ton of "implements" and I'm good to go.

bionicgal posted 8/8/2013 08:44 AM

Nearly 2 months out, and I am still there. It has actually been very helpful for me/us, and healing as well. It does make for some crazy-making feelings, but for us it has been a godsend.

Painfuljourney posted 8/8/2013 09:50 AM

We had sex daily for the past month about 4 days after me finding out everything. I just felt the need to have sex with him. To reconnect. I also felt like this was a need that I had that he NEVER met with me for our 24 year marriage. He was in the habit of masturbation rather than being with me. We maybe had sex a few times a year before DD. I also find I've been looking at porn and masturbating a ton. I just can't get enough sex. He knows it. I told him. I think it's also a distraction from the sadness.

bionicgal posted 8/8/2013 14:31 PM

PS Having been somewhat of a low-drive person, I'll also say why not enjoy it while it lasts?

I think it is a distraction, but at least it is a positive relief. (Sorry about the pun.)

MsRukia posted 8/8/2013 15:37 PM

To answer previous poster.... I don't love him now in that way. I don't want to regret my actions and doing that I think I may. I have had a lot of sexual trauma and abuse going up. When I sleep with him I need it to mean something. I don't want to have sex just to have it.

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