Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-

SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: asherssoul (45716)

User Topic: Finally getting out!
CheaterMagnet
♀ 33581
Member # 33581
Angry  Posted: 7:54 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tomorrow is the day. I am moving out. Haven't told WH. I have a friend coming over with her son and a truck and we're gonna do it. I'm taking the day off work with the excuse that I'll be working all weekend (I will).

Now I just have to tell DD that it's over. She will be crushed. She told me just last week that she thinks WH is still a good guy. "I know he cheated on you, and that sucks, but I think inside he's really a good guy." I used to believe that too. I'm over it now. But I feel like shit doing this to her. She's totally glommed onto him since her own sperm donor turned out to be such a pigfucker. Now she's going to lose WH too. I grew up without a father and I KNOW how much it sucks. I know she's 22, but I know she will be so sad. She will have the choice to keep living with him, to move into my tiny studio with me or to find a place of her own. (she's housesitting for WH's boss for the next 10 days). Maybe she and I will get a bigger place together. Depends.

Anyway. It's over. I am done. I hope he moves back to the mainland and his fucked up family and I never have to see him again.

I thought he was my friend. I was wrong.


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1051 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
LadyQ
♀ 32847
Member # 32847
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry, cheatermagnet.

Hugs to you


Tune out the noise of what others tell you about who you are and work it out for yourself...

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Jul 2011
HurtsButImOK
♀ 38865
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((CheaterMagnet)))

I thought he was my friend. I was wrong.

this too is what hurts me the most.

Sending you strength to get through tomorrow.


Me: Awesome - 35.... ummm, not anymore

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou


Posts: 756 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, August 7th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

CM - Sending you strength for the move and the next steps, honey. ((((((magnet))))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 26151 | Registered: Aug 2011
heartbroken_kk
♀ 22722
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 12:18 AM, August 8th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Magnet)))))

You go girl. I'm raising my glass to your new beginning. You, free of him and his shit.

Your own space. No him in it! YAY for you.

Do not worry too much about your DD. She is an adult. She will figure out that you needed to do this and come to respect you for it over time, if not immediately. Don't let her surprise deter you. Go forward. Do it. Stay the course!

I don't suggest that you offer to let her move in with you. Let her live her own life for a while, and you yours. You will need to settle in and adjust and I think inviting your DD to join you might prevent you from fully detaching and moving forward into your New Beginning.

Many (((((HUGS)))))

You can do this!


BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.


Posts: 1234 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
Abbondad
♂ 37898
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, August 8th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry for your pain, CM. You have been subjected to much abuse and pain and deserve peace to recover. I'm glad to hear you are moving out and on.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1676 | Registered: Dec 2012
EvenKeel
♀ 24210
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 9:02 AM, August 8th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now she's going to lose WH too.

If he is the 'good guy on the inside' like she thinks, then she will not be losing him. There is no reason they can not continue to have a parental/child relationship so please do not own any guilt on that.

Wishing ya strength and good mojo today!


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2245 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
Pippy
♀ 16482
Member # 16482
Default  Posted: 10:33 AM, August 8th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad to hear you are loving yourself. You're one step closer to finding peace.

Your DD is 22 - time for her to flee the nest too.

[This message edited by Pippy at 1:44 PM, August 8th (Thursday)]


I divorced him because I didn't like his girlfriend.
M 30 yrs.


Posts: 9588 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: East of the Rockies
CheaterMagnet
♀ 33581
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, August 8th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DD lives with us because her roommates left her high and dry. She wants to move closer to her job but needs to find a place.

She's flown the nest before, we're just her soft place to land when things go wrong. I just feel bad leaving her with WH. But you are all right. She will survive.

WH still has no clue. He seemed shocked that I had found someone else to come and fix my car for me (needs a new starter) instead of waiting until he feels like doing it, meanwhile being dependent on him for rides (we live fairly remotely). Imagine his shock when he comes home and me and my stuff are missing. I won't be able to get everything, but I'll get the most important stuff. I am going to miss my dogs and my cat though. I can't have them where I am moving.

It's a very bittersweet day.

I feel relief. No longer will I have to hear his voice in my head telling me that I am fat and he isn't attracted to me anymore and that is why he was soliciting shemales on CL. That was why he was getting blow jobs from strangers. That is why he started an A with his ExW. No longer will I feel judged anytime I feel like just being still and quiet and reading instead of doing something active. No longer will I feel guilty because I can't be as physical as I'd like due to chronic back pain and NO medication. I won't be tempted to check his phone or tablet to see if he's started trolling for sex again. I won't have to pay moorage on the boat he started the A on and refuses to sell.

I will be FREE!!!

Thank you all for the support. This is going to be hard. So very hard.


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1051 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
cayc
♀ 21964
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, August 8th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please let us know how everything goes today.

No longer will I have to hear his voice in my head telling me that I am fat and he isn't attracted to me anymore and that is why he was soliciting shemales on CL. That was why he was getting blow jobs from strangers. That is why he started an A with his ExW. No longer will I feel judged anytime I feel like just being still and quiet and reading instead of doing something active. No longer will I feel guilty because I can't be as physical as I'd like due to chronic back pain and NO medication. I won't be tempted to check his phone or tablet to see if he's started trolling for sex again. I won't have to pay moorage on the boat he started the A on and refuses to sell.

And this is worth everything in the world. Despite the occasional dips in my morale post S/D (& maybe even dribbling into my NB), those lows are balanced and then some by the freedom from the constant criticism designed to tear me down. I am so glad that you will now have this too.


"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott

Posts: 3144 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
myperfectlife
♀ 39801
Member # 39801
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, August 8th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope all went well. I love studio apartments, they represent ONE person doing their own thing. Very cool.


I cannot be responsible for another's personal growth.
DDay#1 of a "cheatillion" 4/1/13
Divorce final 11/04/13

Posts: 452 | Registered: Jul 2013
CheaterMagnet
♀ 33581
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, we got almost all of the furniture I am taking (the massage chair will have to wait) and most incidentals. I still have to move my office and my clothes. But I can take those in my car.

I had to stay at the house last night because the guy is coming to fix my car today. Strangely, WH didn't seem to notice anything missing. Even though the bed I took had been propped up in the carport. You had to walk past it to get in the door. And the 4 bags of kitchen stuff that my daughter had are gone from under the bar. Did he really not notice or is this just more of his conflict avoidance behavior? If I don't acknowledge it, it doesn't exist?

Anyway, he has been stepping up his game around the house and actually trying to be helpful. Too little, too late. And I don't miss the subtle little fuck-you's he does.

Like the fact that his clothes are on the floor NEXT to the hamper, but never IN the hamper. He knows clothes on the floor drive me bat shit crazy.

The fact that he will watch me wash the dishes, then eat something and leave the dish in the sink.

When he does do dishes he leaves food in the drain (we don't have a disposal). He bitches about my daughter when she does this, but it's perfectly FINE for him to leave it for me. Not to mention he knows it drives me batty because it attracts BUGS. We live in fucking Hawaii! We have BUGS. Lots and lots of bugs. Food attracts them.

Asshole.

Hurry up Mr. Car Guy! Mama needs to get the HELL out of Dodge!


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1051 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
dmari
♀ 37215
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hurry up car guy!! Please!!

CheaterMagnet, this is huge step for you and I am so proud of you! Heal your heart and rebuild the beautiful and amazing life you so deserve!!


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2299 | Registered: Oct 2012
homewrecked2011
♀ 34678
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, August 9th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Strangely, WH didn't seem to notice anything missing.

that's because his head is so far up his ass he can't see when he walks in the garage and around the house.

I wonder how long before he notices that you don't live there anymore? Weeks perhaps?

I tell you it is so exhilarating not to have XWH's drama, bad attitude, rude comments around. I LOVE MY LIFE NOW!!!

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 5:46 PM, August 9th (Friday)]


Keep Calm and Happy On!

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed


Posts: 2321 | Registered: Jan 2012
CheaterMagnet
♀ 33581
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 1:10 PM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I told DD last night over dinner and as I expected she was devastated. A lot of her concern was over how I would be. She still remembers how I fell apart when Pigfucker moved in with his whore. I am glad I was able to assure her that I am fine. That this is what I want and need and that I will not go crazy.

Then she started to mourn our family. This is so hard for her. I hate that she is in pain.

We spent the evening together and then I met some friends at a Karaoke bar. At midnight I got a text from WH that it was midnight and he wanted a divorce! I just replied, "Me too. I am moving out tomorrow." He was asleep when I got home and this morning he is acting like nothing happened, except instead of coming to help me with a huge work event, he is going to Southpoint. Whatever. At least he won't be around.

The relief I feel is palpable, but I am also so sad. I guess there was still a part of me that hoped that this would shock him into doing something. It isn't why I'm doing it. I know I can't control him. I'm doing it because I don't want to live the rest of my life feeling not good enough.

I'm so glad I have the friends I do. When I started to cry last night they all rallied around and told me how much they love me and that they will be here for me.

Here is to a new beginning. Again.


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1051 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
homewrecked2011
♀ 34678
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It helps the pain since I have learned he is "broken". He doesn't want to be fixed, because he thinks nothing is wrong with him....

It is so sad for our children, they deserve two healthy parents. But, mine have 1 parent intent on giving them the best life I can..


Keep Calm and Happy On!

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed


Posts: 2321 | Registered: Jan 2012
FaithFool
♀ 20150
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

CM you are doing the right thing. It gets better. Promise. (((hugs)))


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17689 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
CheaterMagnet
♀ 33581
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Day 3. While I do feel better knowing that I don't have to constantly feel bad about who I am or how I look, I am still sad.

It is lovely that he told my best friend that HE "just couldn't live this way anymore." Asshat!!! Of course he then told her that he wouldn't say anything bad about me. That I am a wonderful person. FTG!!!

Damn right, I'm a wonderful person. HE will NEVER find anyone who will treat him like I did, or love him as much or forgive him so much.

Fucked up, broken, stubborn, selfish, pervert.

I'm so angry! I haven't cried since I left. But I am so fucking angry at him. I just want to pound him and make him understand what an asshole he is being! That this didn't have to happen this way.

But I can't. I keep thinking that if I can just find the magic combination of words that I can make him understand. But I know I can't. That he either figures it out, or he doesn't. And it looks like he doesn't want to even try. I'm just not worth it to him. And that is when I get sad.

I think that's what hurts the most. I used to believe that I was special to him. That he meant it when he said I was "the one." But he didn't. I'm not special. No one is. He is incapable of having an authentic relationship because he is so broken.

I need indifference. I need to not care. I need to not feel. I need to move on.

Sorry for the ramble. It's a tough morning.


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1051 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
hathnofury
♀ 32550
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

CM, I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you and that you are my hero! WTG!

Enjoy this new chapter of your life. Embrace it!


BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1486 | Registered: Jun 2011
nowiknow23
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, August 12th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I need indifference. I need to not care. I need to not feel. I need to move on.
It WILL come. You WILL get there. Not going to lie - there's a minefield to walk through to get there, honey. But each step gets you closer.

(((((CM)))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 26151 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 21
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
adultry
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.