So I haven't posted in a while. I decided to focus on getting back to being myself and getting my life back. So I am coming up on DDay and I thought I would share some lessons or things I have learned this past year.
I have learned that I am stronger than I usd to think I was. I have learned to really get in touch with what I am feeling and have learned to voice my opinions. I have learned how to really be present in my marriage. I have learned how to communicate with my wife. I have learned to appreciate the life I have. I have learned that I have a choice to forgive but I chose to forgive for myself so I don't harbor that negativity. I have learned to not to allow my emotions to control me all the time. I also have learned to sift through each emotion and deal with them as they come up. I am learning to let go and accept and I work on forgiveness every day.
My marriage is not perfect but as long as we both are working on it I am sticking around. As the affair still comes up in coversation and my daily thoughts I don't allow it to control me. I chose to live my life. Right now we are sifting through many of our marital issues and MC is going very well. We have a better intimate marriage. We have more fun together and appreciate each other more.
The major downside I see is that we missed out on time. Time we can't get back. We both hurt each other but maybe it all happened this way for a reason. Maybe this is what we both have had to endure to get to where we are supposed to be. So far it has been worth it. I am glad I gave her another shot.