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The "Escape" Mentality

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ArableSands posted 8/8/2013 00:22 AM

I dug around the Healing Library but couldn't find much on the "Escape" mentality. Note that it might simply be that I am rubbish at finding information.

What I mean by the "Escape" mentality is the kind of thinking that cheaters use to...I guess "build" a safe bubble for themselves to escape the problems of a marriage, problems that might mean an impending divorce that they do not want. So within the bubble they can find some of what they need, which includes what they get from cheating.

Anyone have any links or info? Thanks in advance.

TS68 posted 8/8/2013 00:34 AM

Sure. They are escaping the reality of the poor choices. In my book, character is based on your actions, not words or beliefs. If they are "escaping" due to stress in the marital relationship or whatever, it is a poor excuse for choices. It is about time people start taking responsibility for there own mistakes. What is wrong with people these days??? Next you know we will be bombarded with studies that 'poor-character addiction' is a true illness, and we should sympathize and treat and support. F that, I say! Sorry for the rant

lost_in_toronto posted 8/8/2013 05:35 AM

Try looking up compartmentalization.

Look at WS fact number 7 and see if it helps.

[This message edited by lost_in_toronto at 5:36 AM, August 8th (Thursday)]

AML04 posted 8/8/2013 06:40 AM

I think my WH is a pro at compartmentalization but it doesn't make it any easier. I believe that he didn't let himself think if me but he should've been. We were under tremendous stress and just kept our heads down and tried to push through. We never talked about it. Little did I know he had found his escape.
I just can't believe this is my life. I was so stupid to trust that he would never do this to me.

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