The sad clown will partner up and remarry several times. Of that I am certain because a parasite always needs a host.
I will be upset when he remarries and I do think I will feel weird the first time. I will also be upset about how his relationship MO/pattern impacts my girls. He seems to have a 2-5 year cycle:
* falls desperately in luuurve with new host
* imposes new luurve on the girls ASAP
* the girls integrate new luurve into their lives - maybe they like them, maybe they learn to love them.
* mask starts to slip - drama ensues
* falls into depression - drink/drugs to numb the pain
* my girls get to witness a relationship and marriage blow again
* falls desperately in luuurve with new host and run through this list again.
Lather, rinse, repeat - my girls not only getting caught up in the ridiculousness that he calls his love life but also that he is modelling this dysfunction for them just like his own mother did for him.
I guess in a way I am upset becuase I was robbed of our happiness and still to this day I cry at every wedding I attend. Because when seeing the pure joy on the bride and grooms face... alll of the love and laughter that surrounds it. The true "love" you see in there eyes... mine was all fake and shattered and turned out to be a huge lie.
Gently, you and I now know we were never going to have those dreams whilst married to those guys. They won't have it with anyone else. It will all looks sparkly and shiny but we were in the Bell Jar once, remember? We know how this story goes.
No matter what he did and the lie he lived it doesn't negate what YOU felt, the M YOU were having, the work YOU put into achieving those goals.
What is to say you cannot have that happiness with someone else? What is to say you can't have all of that on your own, with great friends and family around.
I feel enveloped in love these days - my girls, friends, family, myself. I never felt that in my M. Yes I felt loved but not like this. I give love too - in great big overflowing bucketful's and freely.
I cry at weddings because I'm so happy for the bride and groom and it is such a joyful day. I also cry at weddings because I remember how full of hopes and dreams I was on my wedding day. I also remember how scared I was and how much I wanted to run.
I cry because I wish I had married the right guy. It sounds to me like you cry because you wish he WAS the right guy. It is only a small difference but an important one, IMO.
If you're still mourning his lost potential you're not focusing anywhere near enough on your own potential.