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bookjunkie (original poster member #39033) posted at 5:14 PM on Thursday, August 8th, 2013
My BH has asked very little about my A. It's been six months since Dday and early on I gave him a timeline, told him about how we would meet up. He knows that it was a EA/PA and that we stayed all night at a hotel once and I went to AP's house once for sex. He know that we did alot of sexting and that I sent one nude pic.
The other night we were discussing the A and I told him if he ever wanted to ask anything else about it, I would freely answer any questions but that I would probably have to tell him all the details so that we wouldn't have to go back to square one anytime he has a question.
So my question is...if my H never asks any other questions, will this be considered TT? I know that regardless he will feel like he's going back to day 1.
WW 43 (me)
BH 45
Married 24 yrs
3 kids
DDay 2/10/13 Confessed
Reconciling
Card ( member #23667) posted at 5:38 PM on Thursday, August 8th, 2013
No, IMVHO, it would not be tt'ing.
From my experience, the majority of men don't ask for a lot of details.
WH (me)
BS (her)
D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007
"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!
Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin
RemorsefulWH ( member #36446) posted at 6:00 PM on Thursday, August 8th, 2013
I would agree with Card, although be aware that your statement that you would have to tell him all details could be seen as a way to scare him away from asking any questions that he might have.
Me: WH 33
Wife: BS 32 (love of my life)
DD 4
Dday1: 12/03/12 and a number of others until 15/04/13, disgusted in myself
bookjunkie (original poster member #39033) posted at 6:04 PM on Thursday, August 8th, 2013
RWH,
Yes, I see that but I would hate to go thru this again and again if he only asks one thing at a time over a long period of time. I think he understands I don't want us to have to start over again with R.
WW 43 (me)
BH 45
Married 24 yrs
3 kids
DDay 2/10/13 Confessed
Reconciling
JustDesserts ( member #39665) posted at 9:39 PM on Thursday, August 8th, 2013
Would it make any sense to put it all down in writing, the whole shebang, then seal it in an envelope which you show him and say "if you ever want this, it will be in my sock drawer". Then you have put it out there, and the choice is his.
Not sure if this has ever been suggested, or if its a good or bad idea. Just popped to mind.
JD
2 year EA/PA. DDay 3/12. Broke NC 6/13 w/one stupid 5 line e-mail (which brought me to SI). Me: WH, 51. Her: BW, 50. Married 20 years. Two kids. Dog. Reconciling...together.
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