SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

bookjunkie posted 8/8/2013 11:14 AM

My BH has asked very little about my A. It's been six months since Dday and early on I gave him a timeline, told him about how we would meet up. He knows that it was a EA/PA and that we stayed all night at a hotel once and I went to AP's house once for sex. He know that we did alot of sexting and that I sent one nude pic.

The other night we were discussing the A and I told him if he ever wanted to ask anything else about it, I would freely answer any questions but that I would probably have to tell him all the details so that we wouldn't have to go back to square one anytime he has a question.
So my question is...if my H never asks any other questions, will this be considered TT? I know that regardless he will feel like he's going back to day 1.

Card posted 8/8/2013 11:38 AM

No, IMVHO, it would not be tt'ing.

From my experience, the majority of men don't ask for a lot of details.

RemorsefulWH posted 8/8/2013 12:00 PM

I would agree with Card, although be aware that your statement that you would have to tell him all details could be seen as a way to scare him away from asking any questions that he might have.

bookjunkie posted 8/8/2013 12:04 PM

RWH,
Yes, I see that but I would hate to go thru this again and again if he only asks one thing at a time over a long period of time. I think he understands I don't want us to have to start over again with R.

JustDesserts posted 8/8/2013 15:39 PM

Would it make any sense to put it all down in writing, the whole shebang, then seal it in an envelope which you show him and say "if you ever want this, it will be in my sock drawer". Then you have put it out there, and the choice is his.

Not sure if this has ever been suggested, or if its a good or bad idea. Just popped to mind.

JD