I'm so sorry you are here.
One thing you will see very consistently is "go with your gut". Many of us had a gut feeling that something was wrong, and it was. When our gut talks to us again, it is usually right. If your gut has been talking to you the last 5 years, I would say it is probably right.
If I understand your post, he has not confessed to an affair (A) and you do not have anything concrete. I think you were definitely on the right track with the info you have already.
There is a lot of collective wisdom here and ideas on how to help find the information you need. Right now, take care of yourself.
No he has not confessed, and I don't have anything concrete other than the what shows on the many receipts and my gut!
Other than that, hire a PI to follow him (that would be quite expensive, but sometimes worth it as far as your piece of mind goes).
Another thought is to suddenly show up for a surprise visit in whatever city he is in.
Don't bring it up with him again, not now. Make him believe you trust him now and that you are "relieved to know he is trustworthy". This is super hard, I know! BUT, you do not want him to take his behaviors underground. Sounds like it is early enough stop that from happening, if you are lucky. If he becomes more careful, it will be more difficult to catch anything. And don't think for a minute if he is doing anything suspicious that he would come clean... These guys will lie, deny all day long to protect themselves.
But, maybe you are wrong... I truly hope so for your sake.
Please do this!!! This game is not a fair one
Take care and keep posting... It has helped me so much. The people here are so supportive!
There are so many other "clues" on his trips that I have not expanded on. Here are a few:
When we have had a vacation planned, he always seems to have a business trip right before or right after our trip.
I believe the AP works in the airline industry because of the multiple cities.
I know the user name and passwords to his credit cards, so there has never been any airline tickets purchased and he could not use his corporate cc for someone elses tickets.
I am familiar with the clients he visits and where they are located. On the rental car contracts, there are quite a few that the mileage is too much for where the clients offices are located. I have used google maps to get the mileage, and some are over the top! Most of those have been in California, Las Vegas and Florida.
I'll just sit back and act like everything is good and see what happens.