I feel sick to my stomach. Like on D-day. Why? I told Teslet yesterday that dad was coming today. Interestingly, he has not said a word about dad today and he was very excited yesterday to go to dad's. Look, I'm going to be honest here, I don't want to text this idiot and ask him if he is coming to get his child. I'm so tired of dealing with him. This is the weekend I let him switch to because of the last time he 'forgot' he had Teslet and scheduled himself to work OT instead. How hard is it to write a fucking date down? How hard is it to check the google-fucking-calendar? He is hurting his child and he never has to look at the pain on Teslet's face. He never has to watch Teslet suck it up and carry on. He never has to see the resulting tantrums that get set off by nothing. Teslet is so much better off with me. I wish this fucker would go away and never come back. FTG.
I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.
And yes, your son is lucky to have you. I don't buy into the crap that it takes two people to successfully raise a child, but it does take at least one loving and committed person who has the child's best interests at heart. That's you i.e. Teslet is ahead of the game.
Teslet is going to see, no matter what you do, who STBXH is. We can buffer it for them until they get older, but sooner or later, they connect the dots.
((Tesla)) Give Teslet a hug. Enjoy your time with him. Rinse and repeat.
I don't want to text this idiot and ask him if he is coming to get his child. I'm so tired of dealing with him.
I get this. Believe me, I do! But instead of framing this as you doing him a favor with the reminder, look at it as doing yourself a favor so you can get off the pins and needles and deal with the weekend starting right now.
Also, not that it would, but if this were discussed in court, given the many available forms of communication available, the expectation is that you use them to communicate. Sharing custody with an idiot is no fun. Just make sure, in every instance, that you are not playing HIS game.
(((hugs)))
This guy is incapable of being consistent. His loss.
Expecting him to do the right thing or remember stuff is so UNFAIR you know.
I have missed seeing you on the boards.
his lawyer was granted a motion to withdraw as ex-shat's counsel.
IF only it were so easy to withdraw from being the wife.
He has EOW - you think he'd just be itching... dying to see his child.
I get it friend. I'd be heartbroken for my girls. I'd hate the uncertainty. I'd hate trying to manage their expectations in regard to him.
I don't even know what advice to give but I'd be tempted to lock in a time for ALL handovers with a 15m grace period either side. Big changes (ie: from AM to PM from the set time) require 24h notice by text. Last minute changes (ie: car broke down, running late but pickup within however long it takes to get from his place to yours) required by text within 15m either side of your set time.
If he misses the window he misses his weekend. He can still fade if he wants to but you're not on pins and needles for more than 15m and you can better manage Teslet's expectations.
My girls always ask both of us who is going to pick them up the next day. I think it makes them feel secure. I couldn't stand it if he started pulling this shit.
He is helping your case by being a colossal fuckturd but nobody wants this limbo for their kids. Nobody wants their kids to be let down time after time.
((((Tesla))))
[This message edited by StrongButBroken at 5:48 PM, August 9th (Friday)]
If he misses the window he misses his weekend.
This sounds good..... but I found it IMPOSSIBLE to enforce. We were doing pick ups in a public place at the time. This meant that the boys knew we were waiting on dad. He would be late. They would get antsy. If I were to try leaving they would panic, fearing to enrage their father, or they would get upset with me for not being more tolerant and patient.
The above scenarios are why I decided to have pick ups and drop offs at my home. He is late. The boys count on him being late and plan things online with friends. He doesn't call or text. He acts amused if the boys call and ask what his ETA is. At least this way our lives are not disrupted by his complete refusal to abide by a schedule.
This is one of those things that even if you get it spelled out to the minute how do you enforce it? No one is going to arrest him for it. You could take him to court ($) for contempt and then what? Most people get tired and/or broke trying to force an asshat into compliance.
Find some way that his behaviors don't yank your chain or teslet's best you can.
slight t/j I can remember getting this type of advice a couple of years ago, and it was NOT what I wanted to hear. Now here I am giving all practical advice. Ha!
Kiddo just got picked up and usually he is so excited to see dad that we don't get a proper good-bye. I just tell him good-bye a little before...no big deal. Today, while ex-shat was waiting at the door, Teslet hugged me twice and told me he loved me twice. Unsolicited. Sigh. Just rips me up.
Luckily, school is about to start and I won't have to worry about his shitty pick-up routine for much longer. He'll pick Teslet up from school. But we are going to get something in place for next summer...because I don't want to feel like this. I tell you what, dealing with that imbecile is like trying to nail jello to the wall.
ETA: dammit, CG, I don't want to hear that!! Ugh! just so tough for me to deal with and not feel stressed about it.
[This message edited by tesla at 6:12 PM, August 9th (Friday)]
Oooooh, CG make up that Oompa Loompa song for us
Oompa Loompa doompadee doo I've got some cosmic karma for you Oompa Loompa doompadee dee If you are a douche you will lose your dignity. Who do you blame when your life is all shit? ho wife's a bitch? that's what you get
Who can imagine you'd sink so very low You're not unique... as we all know Let's hear an "F. T. G."
Oompa Loompa doompadee dah Without an assclown your wife will go far Your kids will live in happiness too Like the Oompa Loompa doompadee do
