Hi Coma,
Yes, many people knew about the A but did not tell me.
There is one who knew almost the whole time and hid herself away. What I don't understand is that I learned she is a fellow BS who kept her marriage after dday, so it hurts extra, somehow, that this type of person knew.
What I can't figure out how to let go, is that my own family knew, all of them but a few, before I did.
Who did I finally hear it from? Floozy herself, in a very proud-sounding text message.
I've spoken to one or two people asking why they didn't tell me and after getting several different answers from the same person-my own mother, for one-I stopped trying to learn anything. She is NPD so it helps me to process the thoughts on my own, in her case, but the others are also difficult.
I think I've learned that facing an affair is facing reality and that's simply too hard for many people to do. The only other person who told me I consider a real friend, and she is another fellow BS who said she agonized over telling me. She caught nearly Exh on the dating sites prior to hookup with Ow.
I'm sorry for your hard times and glad you could cut them from your contacts list. I think even if it were hard, I would tell.
I have a friend who lives a quite a distance away and she fights for her marriage. I've tried to be a friend and be truthful when the clues or red flags show themselves and there are mirror issues going on there. I think it's only a matter of time and she is a lot like I used to be.
My family had a chance to help save my marriage, for they were present during some of false R. They actually made it worse and made Nearly ExH uncomfortable in his own home, drove him away some days and one threatened to go back home (another country) without notice to me when I wasn't here. Big mess.
Unfortunately, the easy thing is to ignore.