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Newest Member: heartbroken13 (50569)

User Topic: Hating the triggers
♂ 39919
Member # 39919
Stop  Posted: 10:44 PM, August 10th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let me start by saying it has been 1 month to the hr that D-day happened. For the most part my BS has been fairly good with the triggers but occasionally she will just throw in a comment or two then work herself up into a rage. I made a simple observation this evening and it turned into a barrage of anger fueled comments. I am frustrated because I know have no place in getting angry at the darts being thrown. How do you deal with your emotions all the while help them deal with theirs?

Married 13yrs
DD July 13,2013
6 month EA 2-ONS

Posts: 23 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Phx
♂ 23667
Member # 23667
Default  Posted: 8:10 AM, August 11th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I kept reminding myself that she was venting.

When she finished her vent, I usually said something like; "I'm not that man anymore" I would follow that up with, "I'm making the changes necessary to protect you and our marriage so I never become that man again" I would hold her, soothing her in ways she wanted soothed through triggers. (we worked out multiple ways to sooth her, ones that she liked, during MC)

WH (me)
BS (her)

D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007

"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!

Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin

Posts: 570 | Registered: Apr 2009
Topic Posts: 2

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