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Hating the triggers

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jrr111800 posted 8/10/2013 22:44 PM

Let me start by saying it has been 1 month to the hr that D-day happened. For the most part my BS has been fairly good with the triggers but occasionally she will just throw in a comment or two then work herself up into a rage. I made a simple observation this evening and it turned into a barrage of anger fueled comments. I am frustrated because I know have no place in getting angry at the darts being thrown. How do you deal with your emotions all the while help them deal with theirs?

Card posted 8/11/2013 08:10 AM

I kept reminding myself that she was venting.

When she finished her vent, I usually said something like; "I'm not that man anymore" I would follow that up with, "I'm making the changes necessary to protect you and our marriage so I never become that man again" I would hold her, soothing her in ways she wanted soothed through triggers. (we worked out multiple ways to sooth her, ones that she liked, during MC)

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