I did two posts on things I wish I had known at the start of my journey, maybe they would be of help to you. Have a look:
[This message edited by ItsaClimb at 2:18 AM, August 11th (Sunday)]
WH on the other hand, tells me he wants to give me as much time and space as I need. He wants me to do what I need to do.
WH needs to figure out what is wrong with him and how to fix it while *you*, you sweet, strong lady, need to focus your efforts on healing yourself.
In other words, WH needs to man up and start actively cleaning up the devastation he created.
Meanwhile, you might want to make the decision to not make a decision for at least 6 months while you employ the 180 (in the Healing Library) and figure out what you need and how you could best proceed. Your emotions are going to continue to spiral for quite some time, and you are often going to need all your strength to get through the day and give your kiddos what they need.
Keep coming here. We've all been where you are and can offer support, advice, and a sounding board for vents. Best luck!