So we are a week out from D-Day. I am still getting details, questions answered, trying to find my new normal, and in all figure out how to function. At the moment, it seems that WH wants to be reconciled. I have read a good deal of the material. It seems at th moment that he is truly remorseful, he wants to fix things, he's taken full responsibility, done what I have asked this far etc.
Here is where I am struggling. One minute I hate him, the next minute I love him (though admittedly not like I used to). I have him sleeping elsewhere at home, we havn't had sex since D-Day, and I just feel kinda stuck as to what to make of all of it.
Now he says to take what time I need, he's willing to do what it takes, he wants to fight for us etc. the affair was so aweful with a friend, sneaking around, the list goes on and on. So I struggle. I want to start at square 1 as friends again and work back toward being hubby and wife. But I struggle. Sometimes I slip and call him babe, though I think it's not right right now. Should I hold hands or not? Due to crazy kids and vacation we are sharing a bed and I realized I am not ready for it. Should I file legal seperation or not? Is it to early for working towards reconciliation or not? I mean the confusing list goes on and on. It's hard because I want a clear direction on all things but, I know I can't through this emotional fog. It's driving me nuts!
When does this start to get better? When does it become less all consuming? I want to move towards making smart decisions but I feel it would be irresponsible I do so at this point. Any advice would be helpful.