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cantaccept posted 8/11/2013 04:34 AM

I am referring to my post "my letter to other woman"

I can't stop thinking about sending it.

She was so cruel and condescending to me during their a. I never contacted her , she contacted me.

I feel that by never standing up for myself at the time, I appeared weak. I wasn't able to defend myself against her.

I keep wondering if it will help me to feel stronger, not so humiliated. I feel as if I just allowed her to abuse me.

I would love to be able to respond, just once, from a place of strength.

First I would correct my punctuation!

I am not looking for a response, I don't care either way.

I am not worried about her contacting h. If that is all it takes to reignite the a, go for it, she can have him.

I would be doing this just for me.

Any thoughts???

namaste32 posted 8/11/2013 05:14 AM

Yes,I would.I did it back then and it helped and I dont regret it. It is healing. Do it.What can happen? Nothing,she is not going to change,nothing will change what happend,BUT you will feel much better.And that is what matters. Oh by the way,bravo to your letter,very good,especially the anywoman.

Walking posted 8/11/2013 05:59 AM

I would not. And to let you know, the other woman in my life has not been a picnic either. She has been stalking me for a year electronically, phone calls, letters, and finally walking in my house, on her own, to confront me about the affair in front of the kids.

Here is my take, you are dealing with an emotionally bankrupt person in the AP. Someone who was fine with the demeaning role of an adulterer just to steal your husband because pathetically in a world of people she thought your imperfect cheater was the answer to her dreams (think how pathetic, her dreams involve stealing a married man and wrecking a family to feel better about herself.) No matter what, this person is at least one nugget short of a happy meal.

Your silence by not taking the bait with these type of people makes you look stronger and in control. Engaging, gives her control, puts the ball back in her court. its a waste of time. she knows she is a loser and she doesn't care. No, sending her anything validates her behavior in a small way, don't validate her.

Ignore her. Focus on yourself and getting whatever outcome you decide you want in this marriage. No need to feel humiliated. You kept your composure, she did not.

By not engaging with this person, you look and are the better person, and both your husband and the other woman know this. You will dish out far more frustration by ignoring her. It sounds like all her interactions have been to get a reaction. Don't give her one.

The state of your marriage and the decisions to end it or repair it are the business of you, your husband and your children. She is just noise. Let it and her fade out of your life.

authenticnow posted 8/11/2013 07:01 AM

cantaccept,

Please keep this on one thread. Refer to this thread in General for replies:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=504098

Thank you