Here's the problem one was "too short" for me and the other was "too skinny" for me. I'm learning that I need a guy with some meat on him as well as taller than me but quite a few inches. I'm not talking about muscles all big and buff just a guy who makes me feel protected. This makes me feel extremely shallow but I need to and want to be 100% physically attracted to whomever I'm with.. They could be the best guy in the world but if I don't want to jump his bones I feel like he's just in the "friend zone"
Okay...thoughts, opinions, 2X4's
just a guy who makes me feel protected.
I do get what you're saying though. I'm very physically fit and very strong. I don't like being with men who I feel that I could easily take down. So from a physical attraction standpoint, taller/bigger is better. That said, the man I'm dating now, while very tall, and super cute, is also noticeably overweight. I thought I didn't like that. After all, I don't walk around saying "ooh look, there's a overweight guy, how attractive!" But this guy? I adore him. The mental connection is there, and I knew that before I ever met him in person, so when I did meet him in person ... I thought, hmm, well let's see what happens here, rather than reject him for not being my physical ideal/type. Can I just say *best sex EVER*. God, he's so awesome, in all ways, in all things. And occasionally he mentions his weight and I tell him the truth. If he wants to lose it I support that. If he wants to focus on being more healthy, I support that. But if he's only thinking he should lose weight to be more attractive to me, well sir, give it up. Because I like you just the way you are.
Sometimes you have to get over yourself and look past yourself to realize what you've got. I'm glad I did.
[This message edited by cayc at 8:35 AM, August 11th (Sunday)]
I don't like being with men who I feel that I could easily take down
I gave them both time to kind of let them grow on me so I guess I ended up with the "it's not there" or as they say friend zoned.
Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?
My ex- husband on the other hand was attractive but had a very small thin build, so small he had to buy track pants etc in the teen boys section of Walmart. I never did find that very attractive and over the years it started bothering me more and more that I felt like an Amazon woman with him. He was strong for a small guy but one night he was in a drunken rage and tried to assault me. Lets just say it didn't take much effort for me to take him down and he didn't ever try that again. Instead he had a mental hold on me which was far worse than physical abuse in my opinion.
Anyways, now I am single and have only dated one man since my divorce. I really liked the guy I dated was a bit bigger than me. It made me feel safe an less like I came from the Amazon forest. In my future I don't want to date anyone that seems frail or weak. Hate to admit that but its how I feel, and I think thats ok!
"And this above all else, to thine own self be true"