Physical attraction is just one of those things that you can't force yourself into. It is possible that if you let yourself relax more around these men that attraction might grow, but if you did and it didn't then ... it just isn't there. That's not shallow, it's just a fact.
just a guy who makes me feel protected.
This is something you might want to explore the whys of. I don't know how old you are, but you realize there's a tipping point in aging where Mr. Protector just isn't going to have all over the young guns who'd be "attacking" you.
I do get what you're saying though. I'm very physically fit and very strong. I don't like being with men who I feel that I could easily take down. So from a physical attraction standpoint, taller/bigger is better. That said, the man I'm dating now, while very tall, and super cute, is also noticeably overweight. I thought I didn't like that. After all, I don't walk around saying "ooh look, there's a overweight guy, how attractive!" But this guy? I adore him. The mental connection is there, and I knew that before I ever met him in person, so when I did meet him in person ... I thought, hmm, well let's see what happens here, rather than reject him for not being my physical ideal/type. Can I just say *best sex EVER*. God, he's so awesome, in all ways, in all things. And occasionally he mentions his weight and I tell him the truth. If he wants to lose it I support that. If he wants to focus on being more healthy, I support that. But if he's only thinking he should lose weight to be more attractive to me, well sir, give it up. Because I like you just the way you are.
Sometimes you have to get over yourself and look past yourself to realize what you've got. I'm glad I did.
[This message edited by cayc at 8:35 AM, August 11th (Sunday)]