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triggers after fifteen months??

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victory1 posted 8/11/2013 08:54 AM

My BW's triggers are still raging at high velocity's even after fifteen months since D-Day, and I still feel her pain and disappointment in my selfish acts which go back around five years.

One month after your D-Day tells me there is more venting to come forth by your BW as I found through time that all BW analyse and try reason with there brokeness of there marriage. To be able to stand there being a bull's eye for your BW to throw darts at you is something horific, but imagine what it would be like if the roles were reversed how would you feel, honestly. You want to be strong then you have to be there for your BW as much as possible, that also shows some strength from your part even though your BW might not see it just yet. The damage takes years to recover from to a certain degree and it depends on you what you decide on the next move is going to be. Hang in there and take those darts, no matter what and be there for your BW. Time will heal but its what you do in that time that really matters, think about it.

victory1 posted 8/11/2013 08:59 AM

Sorry about the mix up but my topic on "Triggers after fifteen months" was a reply for jrr111800.

jrr111800 posted 8/12/2013 00:33 AM

Thank you Victory. I wish I would have read this before this morning. I am having a terrible time controlling my emotions when these triggers hit. I have no idea how respond, my default emotions is flip into anger No fault of My BW, she is just relaying her pain in a manner I am uncomfortable with, my shame pops up and I get angry, not angry at her but angry that I have no control of the situation and my shame dictate's my attitude.
It has been especially difficult today because I am facing a long week of work ahead and I don't want to go into this week with an unsettled situation floating around my house.

TimeToManUp posted 8/12/2013 00:40 AM

JRR, you might get something from my response that I posted in the "abuse" thread. I reacted to triggers very similarly to what you describe. Good luck to you.

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