atoz,
I'm so very sorry you found yourself here but considering what you are going through, and what you will likely experience over the next days and weeks, it's good you found SI.
All of us have been where you are and most of us have survived and thrived despite thinking we might not make it through the day.
It sounds like you have made a lot of allowances/excuses for your husband over the last 13 years even though he appears to need the attention of other women for whatever reason. Believe me, I get it because I was married to someone like that for 25 years. I know what it's like to feel stupid, hurt, humiliated and taken advantage of. It took me a long time to finally decide I had enough; that there was simply not enough good things about the relationship to justify being treated that way for one minute longer.
I don't know anything more about your situation than what you've written here. I don't know if you have children, a job/career, a strong support system or if you will ever come to grips with the idea that you can love someone with all your heart but that does not mean they will love you enough to stop hurting you.
Forgiveness is a wonderful gift but you have to decide if giving it is worth what it will cost you, especially knowing that forgiving him in the past seems not to have stopped the behavior but perhaps instead reinforced it.
I do know that you must, must, must think of yourself first. There is no one that will look after your interests more successfully and consistently than you will. You have to take a good look at yourself, your husband and your relationship and decide if this is the way you want to live the rest of your life. You are his WIFE and he has left you on your vacation to be with another woman. Seriously, what kind of person does that?
Again, I am so, so, sorry that you have found yourself here but it's a good place to be when you're in this situation. Lots of wisdom, support, encouragement and care and concern. Take advantage of it. There's lots of good reading material, lots of opinions/advice about the issues that loom large once infidelity has become a part of your life. But most of all there is hope and stories of people who have had their hearts and lives stomped on in the worst way possible and were able to come out on the other side, happier, healthier and feeling very positive about themselves and their lives. You can be one of those people. Truly, you can.
[This message edited by meaniemouse at 8:19 PM, August 11th (Sunday)]