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Question for the guys

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musiclovingmom posted 8/11/2013 14:17 PM

My H works very hard so that I can stay home with our children (he logged 78 hours in the last 5 days). Very often, his work takes him out of town for unknown periods of time (overnight up to a month, but we never know for sure). When he is gone, the kids and I get through life fine, but I miss him terribly. Pre-A, I seldom expressed that I missed him. I didn't want to burden him with that. After all, he was gone so that he could support us why make him feel bad about leaving us without him. One thing he has said is that during his A's, he felt like we didn't need him or care if he was gone because I seldom talked about missing him. Obviously, I need to do better with this. Any ideas how I can express that I (we) miss him and want him home without making him feel guilty about being gone?

[This message edited by musiclovingmom at 2:18 PM, August 11th (Sunday)]

StillGoing posted 8/11/2013 14:43 PM

I like to hear my wife tell me that she misses me or how much more fun it would be if I was there... while I have never felt like it was a complaint that I was working too much I think my wife has worried about that same thing because she has also told me she appreciates the work I've done and it's that she likes to be around me and do things with me.

I dunno, hearing your wife tell you how much she likes to be around you and misses that always felt good to me.

LosferWords posted 8/11/2013 15:46 PM

I'm a big proponent of Skype. I ended up having to do a 16 day stint 1800 miles from home a couple of years ago, and we scheduled nightly Skype sessions. Being able to see my wife, son, house, and dogs gave me a lot of comfort, and I could also see that our home was not quite the same without me at the same time.

It felt good to know that everyone at home was doing fine without me, and it also felt good to be missed.

Don't know if Skype is an option with your H's schedule or not, but I just wanted to throw that out there as a possible suggestion.

5454real posted 8/11/2013 19:16 PM

I'm on the road overnight anywhere from 5 to 10 days a month. I often will get home after everyone is in bed. it really is harder not hearing that they miss me.
I'd go for honestly expressing your feelings. it shouldn't be a burden to hear that, it should actually help.

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